Armistice Day

Today is Veterans Day,

also known as Armistice Day.

The "eleventh hour

of the eleventh day

of the eleventh month"

is when the

cessation of hostilities

on the Western Front

of World War one took effect.

I love that phrase,

"the cessation of hostilities."

Today is sort of a personal

Armistice Day for me.

November, 11th 1997, at 11 a.m.,

I had my very first appointment

with a counselor

and start the long road

to healing from

childhood sexual abuse.

I had waged war against myself,

for years, trying to keep it a secret.

I wore masks to hide

the "real" me, whom I loathed.

I built walls of isolation

and pushed people away

out of fear of being hurt again.

I even attacked my own skin

with razor blades

to try and cope

with the burden

of that secret,

of my shame.

Today is the anniversary

of when I committed

to end that war

and surrender myself

and my secrets.

Today, I celebrate

the "cessation of hostilities"

in my heart.

I share these thoughts

out of joyful gratitude,

and, also, because

I know there are many

women and men

still fighting this war

of secret shame.

I want them to know

they are not alone

and peace is possible.