Area Map: You Are Not Here

Where am I?

Can’t be sure.

I was infinitesimal pause before inhalation once

on a search-and-find-answers mission

pre-empted by autonomic nervous system laws.

A solitary journey moments-seeker

desert-walking thirst yet resistant teacher.

A two-legged puzzle by those who caught glimpse

with storm cloud faces gathering despair

for my inexplicable calm and genuine smile without air.

Sho’ nuff did sink beneath some place

beyond city limits on the backside of greenest space.

Mystical ground where jasmines grew

sentient beings and seeds I once knew.

Silent offerings

cover flesh

as soul feeds

roots to mind enmesh.

I took submersion

neath the morning burrowed under sleep

since the places where he touched me

are now liquid fissures that make me weep.

Where am I?

Can’t be sure.

I became osmosis gradient reaching

discarded fears and attraction screeching

wanton molecules of sensuous teaching.

Signed a lease on memories

where pleasure itself desired holding.

I am ‘Nowhere-Me.’

Every exposure-soaked limb

unable to move

visible tremors with tears to follow

the expected promises of comfort hollow.

I cared not for amenities or customary graces

Kept lowered eyes amidst throngs of unfamiliar faces.

Knew full well no savior coming.

Only one heart heaving for a shaman’s humming.

Difficult to quantify a timeline and cost

when near impossible to explain

how to you self was lost.

Not in a bad way — like abducted hurt or missing.

Almost intentional disappearance

to see forests for the trees and leaves I need kissing.

In receipt of directions

via longed-for connections

that finally exhaled

found a sane place

but left no trace

and yup

stayed awhile.

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(Originally published on Medium)