And There Goes the Train

- Screech... screech...

Choo... choo...

And there goes the train -

- As I lay in bed

All alone with the window open,

Listening to the screaming and shouting

Coming from the neighbors' house,

And all I can think about is noise...

And fighting...

And how much I hate it all...

And there goes the train -

- As I feel the comforting covers

Wrap around me as my hands pull them closer

Around my body to keep the conflict -

That I want no part in -

Away...

And there goes the train -

- As I keep one ear pressed to the pillow

So only half of me has to hear the threats

And excuses and pleas and sorrow

Coming from my very own kitchen,

Where light and love are supposed to be -

But only hate and rage exist there in this moment -

And there goes the train -

- As I put my earbuds in and turn up the music

To drown out the memories or yelling

And slapping and sounds of aggression and hatred

Between two people who vowed to stand by each other

And love each other...

And there goes the train -

- As I think to myself that everywhere I go

There is fighting and rage and hatred and misery -

And I discover that the common problematic factor,

In all this terribleness,

Is me;

And I begin to truly believe

That everyone would be better off

If I just disappeared...

And there goes the train -

- As I gather the courage to get out of bed

And push down the memories of pain and torture and conflict,

And stumble past the fight in the kitchen,

To walk out the door and away from

The screaming neighbors...

And to the screeching...

And whistling...

That I can hear over everything else...

And there goes the train -

- As I make my way to the tracks

And stare at the possibilities that could lie in wait for me...

An end... or a new beginning...

If I wasn't so stubborn or foolish

To continuously stay in places where

I cause nothing but conflict;

And I sit by the tracks,

And I ponder,

And there goes the train -

- As I finish my thoughts -

And stand -

To head back...

Past the screaming neighbors...

Through my kitchen of rage and violence...

And back to my head with memories of misery -

In my bed, with my comforting covers

And one ear pressed against the pillow,

And an earbud in the other,

And my phone in my hand,

And my eyes drifting out the window to a place

Where all I hear is

- Screech... screech...

Choo... choo...

And there goes the train -