And then I chose life.

I’ve fallen in love many times before you.

With men that have only proven one thing.

That what they say is always different to what they do.

They either drank too much, smoked too much or just didn’t bring

To the table that I called life anything other than misery.

Their hands too heavy or their words too sharp and it was almost always never love at first sight.

Love at first sight came differently for me, as most mothers would agree.

Before you arrived I was slowly killing myself, not traditionally suicide, just an indifference to life.

You see I didn’t care if I lived or died, the voice inside my head wanted me dead and the addict in my heart was tearing me apart.

I smoked that cigarette not caring if I got cancer.

I took that drug with no second thoughts, despite the fact I didn’t even know what it was.

I was heartless and cruel to the people I loved so they wouldn’t hurt as much when I died.

Nothing could silence that harsh voice in my head “your not enough! Your worthless! You should never have even tried!”

But you had other plans for me, not even one day old with your little face, your big blue eyes, staring up at me unaware you had already saved a life.

This love at first sight made me glad to be alive and no matter how hard it gets I will always choose life.

Thank you Declan, you saved my life. I will love you for eternity, to the most distant star and back. My tiny hero.