And So, It Comes Again

And so, it comes again, that time of loneliness and hunger - when the streets are bitter-cold.

The time it is so clear that no one really wants you when you’re tired and getting old.

I tried so hard to keep the light of love alive within my heart,

I tried so hard to get myself a job and make a brand-new start.

I tried to keep my self-respect, despite the endless days of walking, - with no place to go.

I went from factory to factory and all they ever said was “No!”

I watch the happy shoppers underneath the garish lights, - so filled with Christmas cheer.

The wind cuts through me, but at least I begged enough to buy a sandwich and a beer.

I used to get some money from the state,

But then they stopped it when, one day, I turned up late.

I sold my watch a long, long time ago,

And now it’s just the kindness of the passers-by who keep me from Death’s gate.

I’m thinking this might be my last cold winter on these rain-soaked streets.

I’m old and worn like these old clothes, which hardly keep in any heat.

I am pretty sure I smell, but after all this time I can no longer tell.

If cleanliness is next to Godliness, - I guess I’m bound for Hell.

But then, I gave up on religion, - a few harsh years ago,

When my rich religious landlord threw me out into the snow.

I was once a man with pride who walked with shoulders broad and straight.

I stood with eyes that gleamed with pride beside the barracks gate.

I fought in wars that made me wonder if my loyalty had somehow been misplaced.

And then the fear that overtook me caused me to be cashiered from the army in disgrace.

I got some work on zero-hour contracts and I rented out a flat, but when austerity kicked in the work got thin and quickly ended that.

So, now I walk the streets - I once fought to defend,

And I call out to a God, whom I'm not sure exists, to let my suffering end.

Patrick W Kavanagh27/11/2018

Image by Leroy Skalstad, Pixabay