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And Comedy Killed the Soap Opera Star

by Stephanie Hoogstad 5 months ago in celebrities
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Dedicated to Betty White, Written Years Ago

Photo on <a href="https://photostockeditor.com/image/landscape-tree-nature-architecture-183503">Photostockeditor</a>

We watch them drop in threes (the most I usually see is in June)

We stalk the web waiting, waiting, waiting

TMZ feeds our obsession (now it is a Hydra—swelling, multiplying with every strike against it)

“I bet he doesn’t make it past thirty” “She’s the hardiest bitch I’ve ever seen; she’ll make it to a hundred easy” “He’s already older than Adam and Eve”

This one from drugs, only thirty-two (what a shame; always troubled, I knew)

He was ninety-three, a Tinsel Town legend

and of course he died—did you see that god awful remake? (Comedy always kills Soap Opera stars)

page after page—pneumonia, cancer, car crash, suicide, alcohol, overdose, natural causes—they’re all having breakfast in the Brady kitchen

dabbling in drinks outside the Viper Room

spinning wildly with cartoon rabbits or dueling with Peter Pan

haunting the megaplex, finally free of hoodoo curses—

free to laugh too loud, to sing off-key, to dance like a donkey with four left hooves

to gather where friendly ghosts come out to socialize

I sit alone in a darkened room, scrolling through the obituaries (the first to notify Facebook)

and play their movies, their songs, their whatever in the background (I don’t even hear)

and wonder if that afterlife

really is so elite

celebrities

About the author

Stephanie Hoogstad

With a BA in English and MSc in Creative Writing, writing is my life. I have edited and beta read as a freelancer for a few years with only a couple published stories of my own.

You can learn more about me at thewritersscrapbin.com.

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