An Unexpected Visit

Riddled between the horrors of yesterday

and the trepidation of tomorrow,

my mind wanders to the places

and the memories of my sorrows.

***

My first stop is with my father

who sits tall atop a mountain,

cheeks stained red with fright

I saw it once before, at the cabin.

***

Soon enough, my mother appears

joining us at the white peaks,

she turns toward me with salty eyes

I can almost hear the shrieks.

***

When the storm clouds move above

and the curtain is drawn back,

I see my younger self,

the girl who kept on track.

***

Racing toward the taught blue ribbon

nearly crossing the finish line,

my legs turn to jello

my arms become intertwined.

***

I’m a goopy puddle sitting in the mud

until I drip down through the soil,

Through the earth to the other side,

Splashing like slick oil.

***

My shape is then reformed

into an elderly woman,

who sits atop the peaks

in a rocking chair that is wooden.

***

She moves back and forth

next to shadowy silhouettes,

eyes looking wide

not worried about her debts.

***

The calmness of the beauty

surely opens my eyes,

my breath is still panting,

but my brain is alive.

***

I look across my bedroom

and what do I see?

The picture of the mountain

drawn by my father, for me.

***

The rocking chair by my bed

that my mother used to sit in,

to tell me bedtime stories

while mine was ready to begin.

***

Nothing is as it seems

when I am asleep,

but still, there is some reality

when I doze too deep.

***

I reach to my phone

to call my mother and father,

but no one picks up

it seems I am a bother.

***

Now my cheeks are stained red

with salt in my eyes,

I should learn to stop taking naps,

I don’t need to be energized.

***

If only I could stop dreaming

to keep my mind at ease,

because the reminders of the past and

hopes of the future became a disease.