Am I Supposed to Understand Pain?

Am I Supposed to Understand Pain?

From the day that I was born,
I was healthy, well looked after and warm,
Two parents who gave me so much love,
And sheltered me from every storm.

As I grew older, I thanked God above,
For the parents who belonged to me,
For all the love they gave so freely,
And the happiness they brought to me.

Then came those teenage years,
When we go through different loves,
Until we find that special one,
Who fits us like a glove.

And then I found you,
You fitted my hand,
You touched my heart,
Do you understand?

Within my heart there was no sorrow,
Just me and you in every tomorrow,
Like a picture book of happiness and joy,
A true love story of a girl and a boy.

But then I found out about her,
You’d been seeing her behind my back,
And that’s when my world began to crumble,
And my life began to crack.

The hurt, the pain, the sorrow,
Was more than I could bear,
How could I remain your wife,
Knowing another woman was there?

But then I asked myself a question,
How could I possibly go?
Could I live my life without you?
And my heart answered, no.

So I stayed and said nothing,
I let the heartache carry on,
Until I discovered another woman,
The first had gone, you’d moved along.

Two women you’d deceived me with,
Two secrets behind my back,
And everything I thought was precious,
Had already begun to crack.

I challenged you, you denied it,
You said, “You know I love you.”
I answered, “Yes, you tell me that,
But I know what you’ve been up to.”

I knew about your secret life,
The women and the lies,
The promises you made to me,
While looking in my eyes.

You said, “Then do your worst,
Pack your bags and leave,
I’ve had enough of all of this,”
But still I couldn’t believe.

You turned the blame upon me,
Made me question my own head,
As though I’d imagined every woman,
You’d secretly taken to bed.

But it was your friends who told me,
The ones you trusted with your lies,
They rang and told me everything,
And slowly destroyed my life.

With every word they spoke to me,
Another piece of my heart would fall,
Until the life I’d once believed in,
Seemed so terribly small.

So many tears flowed from my eyes,
They almost drowned my heart,
And somewhere in that sea of sorrow,
I knew that we must part.

Now my life holds memories of you,
And the cruel things you put me through,
The broken promises, the heartache,
And a love I thought was true.

Sometimes I curse your memory,
I’d even spit upon your grave,
For all the pain you caused me,
And the happiness you took away.

But sometimes, in the silence,
When memories drift back through,
I long for just one moment,
Of the love I once knew.

And though I hate the pain you gave,
And the tears that fell like rain,
There’s still a part of me that craves,
Those loving days again.

For how can someone hurt you,
Yet leave you longing too?
How can a heart be broken,
And still remember loving you?

And after all the tears I’ve cried,
The memories that remain,
I ask myself one question,
Am I supposed to understand pain?