all i wanted

god,

i wanted it

to be you

even if it

never was.

you were written

by my heart

i filled the oceans

with words

about you

you are perfect

but not for

me

because the question

that keeps me up

at night is

what does she have

that i don’t.

is her waist smaller

her hair softer

her laugh happier

you always hated

my darkness.

i hope you found

your light

because i lost mine

to you.

is hope she is

what you need

but also

i want her dead

cuz what about

me?

did i ever

mean anything

at all.