Alien

I got so good at hiding I disappeared,

so good at camouflaging, just wanted to be liked, just wanted to be heard.

Went from hiding to invisible, funny how that works,

not what I wanted, yet I was the one pulling all the strings,

orchestrating my own disappearing.

Always felt like a stranger,

an alien to everyone else.

Never quite belonging,

never quite myself.

Now I'm navigating two worlds so different it hurts.

One is calm and connected, being seen, appreciated for me.

The other is lonely but familiar, camouflaged and comfortable,

like a second skin I never meant to keep.

One would think the answer is obvious.

But it's not, and that's the part that stings.

I'm becoming an expert at living in between,

because if you knew the truth,

if you knew how much it scares me to be seen,

how open I am with you, how exposed, how real,

then what if that's too much?

What if you don't like what you feel?

Would you ban me from your world? Ghost me?

And I'd be invisible once again.

And I don't want that.

That's too scary.

So I stay here, in between.