Afterthought.

"Let's have a toast to do the douchebags."

No more morning calls. No more coffees. No more tears. I’m just your afterthought now. No more laying on the couch. No more movies. No more guitar. Oh to be your afterthought. No more breakfasts. No more waking up together. No more falling asleep together. I don’t want to be your afterthought.

No more laughing. No more dancing. When did we ever dance? Just an afterthought. No more crying. No more tears. No more fighting. To be your afterthought. No more put downs. No more me and you. No more afterthoughts.

Somebody That I use To Know - Gotye feat Kimbra.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

(Song 2...Give it a try.)

“I told myself that you were right for me, bet felt so lonely in your company...but that was love and it's a night I still remember... ”

Did you feel lonely? Was I enough for you? Was I good enough for you? Did you love me?

“You can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness. Like resignation to the end...always the end."

I saw you looking at her. I questioned it in my mind. I thought, no, he loves me. I let it go, as I let everything go for you. For you to love me. To be your afterthought. Oh to be your afterthought.

“I don’t want to live that way, feeding into every word you say, you said that you could let it go and I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you use to know.”

I felt a little stupid today. Stupid to think you’d ever really love me like the way they do in the movies or the way you loved her. I don’t want to compete with her. Sorry. I’m sorry for my ways. I’m sorry we couldn’t figure it out. I’m sorry you didn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved and I’m sorry if you felt the same. I’m sorry if I ever treated you or Her as an afterthought.

I’m sure I have.

"But you didn't have to cut me out...make it like it never happened and we were nothing. And I don't even need your love but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough."

I don't want to become someone you use to know.

"Now you're just somebody that I use to know."

I guess I'm still not sure what’s happening... what’s about to become of my life. But that’s ok. I’m ready for adventure. I’m ready for whatever life has to throw at me.

***Today is Day 3. 6 days since you you left me. 6 days since you found out what I did. 6 days since I lied to you. 6 days since I confessed. 6 days I've felt confused. 6 days since I've been here.

Runaway - Kayne west

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm5iA4Zupek

"Let's have a toast to the douchebags."

Am I the douchebag?

***Today is Day 4.

"And I always find, yea, I always find something wrong. You've been putting up with my shit just way too long. I'm so gifted to find what I don't like the most. So I think it's time for us to have a toast...Baby I got a plan... run away as fast as you can."

"Run away from me baby."

***Day 5.

I feel more alive today. Tired, it is 5am, but more alive. More awake. Something is happening to me. I'm waking up.

Ballad of Cleopatra- The Lumineers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXsQJhoauxc

Cleopatra- The Lumineers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN5s9N_pTUs

"But I was late for this...late for that... late for the love of my life. And when I die alone, when I die alone, when I die, I'll be on time."

I don't want to be an afterthought. I don't want to be your after thought.

Royals- Lorde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlcIKh6sBtc

"Let me be your ruler...ruler... You can call me Queen Bee. And Baby I'll rule...I'll rule. I'll rule...I'll rule, let me live that fantasy."