Little Black Book
He dropped all my stuff off that day. He dropped it off before. This wasn't the first time this has happened. I was bluffing. He knew I was bluffing. He didn't care. Please, please, please stop me, my eyes screamed, my faced screamed, everything about me screamed. Stop me, please, or I'll do it. I'll walk out that door.
Fresh Start New year, new me. New year, new me. I must recite that to myself now and again. New year, new me. Why do I feel like the old me?
Feeling better today. The urges have subsided. Today I am happy. I don't have an insistence desire to gamble. I want to do things, good things with my money. I want to sit here and have my coffee. I want to buy smokes. I want to buy coffee. I want to fix up my apartment. I want to pay my power bill. I want to buy Christmas presents. I want to wrap Christmas presents. I want to buy food. I want to buy whichever food I'd like.
"What if I what if I trip, what if I what if I fall, then am I the monster, just let me know..." Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber - Monster
To My Younger Self.
"Ooh-oo child things are gonna get easier. Ooh-oo child things'll get brighter." - Ohh-oo Child- The Five Stairsteps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6zbwLQFjRM&ab_channel=3spiritoftruth
To All the Men I loved before.
To all the men I loved before... To All The Girls I've Loved Before- Willie Nelson, Julio Iglesias https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAmrCiwNq-Y&ab_channel=AndyAnders
Baking with Love
Baking with love. When we were little mom would bake with us. She would get the four of us ready and we would bake up a storm. Mom and dad had seven children. I fall fifth in line. I have two older brothers, two older sisters, and two younger sisters. My younger sisters and I are very close in age. I have one sister two years younger than me, one sister one year (eleven months) younger than me, and one sister two years older than me.
The Last Day 1
The Last Day 1 Chapter 2. Day 9. Day 9...day 9. Well it's better day than day 7. I was having a difficult day on day 7. I went to bed early that day. I don't want to talk about day 7. Day 9 is better yet different. This change has been different for sure. I'm different. Life is different.