Aftermath

Hi, my name is Malarie. I'm an addict.

I found this poem weeks after I wrote it in a drug induced haze. I have no memory of writing it, I must have been pretty messed up. I thank God for recovery and brighter days, this one was pretty gloomy.

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Lock me in a tower,

Take me away from this world.

Keep me shielded from evil,

I'm someone's little girl.

I need someone to help me,

stay on the right path

I need someone to remind me daily,

of the destructive aftermath

I need someone to notice,

that I'm slipping up

I need someone to notice,

when I'm on drugs

Why can't I stay sober?

Why am I so weak?

Why can't I stay sober?

It's like quick sand’s around my feet.

I'm being pulled down and the more I struggle the faster it goes.

I'm fighting just to keep my head afloat.

I came to you and said I needed help.

I exposed the darkest part of myself.

You hear me, but you don't understand how heavy this is.

Pacing with a cigarette on the porch...

asking for help, is a last resort.

The louder the voice gets, the longer it's ignored.

I hate this part of me. I want to disappear

I hate this part of me. It's dark and I'm scared.

Date unknown. 2020