After

At the moment

It felt

Like the end of a lifetime.

At the moment

It felt

Like the world was being ripped out from under me

Like I couldn't stand anymore.

And yet

Somehow

I know deep inside of me

That this isn't an end

But a beginning.

I lost myself

In caring for you.

I focused my entire being

My whole heart

My whole mind

On you.

Now I can live for myself

Can think about my own needs

Can become the best self I can be.

I've learned from you

That living for someone else

Is never fulfilling

And now I can teach myself

How to live for me

And how to be myself

All over again.

I will become better.

I will become myself.

I will be the best I can be.

I will teach myself to grow.

I will refuse to live for anyone but myself

Until I am satisfied.

I've always thought

That when people say

"You must learn to love yourself

Before you can love someone else"

That it wasn't true

But now I see that it is.

It wasn't fair for either of us

That neither of us had learned to love

When we tried to love each other.

We both knew

But tried to hold on

And grasped at the air

And choked on it.

Thank you for the memories.

Now is the time to make ourselves again.