Afghanii Interrupted

The sadness in my heart just seems to grow.

That mother fuker, just wont let it go.

So I end up again on the bathroom floor,

--breaking down the bathroom doors.

Instead of barricading, I am making more holes.

To match my heart eaten away by lifes nasty sores.

Society got me at its strongest sin.

All the while I got on my sneer grin.

Its enough to make me want to slit my wrists

But then I try to to think about my innocent kids

But often times Its hard to see with all that's amidst

Its draining, fighting to not always feeling being pissed

Trying to center the state of feeling inner bliss

But that is all just a myth

A fairy tale that dont fukin exist

I'd never thought I'd be in such a place of...mental strength, I guess.

Beyond the ugliness of the ungrateful street hearts are combined with the lack of remorse,

has yet continues to force me to grow for a purpose.

Leaving me gratified at times, even though there are more bad days than good.

My flaw isn’t love nor hate.

Its a passion that wont allow me to believe that this cant and is life.

For me , you or anyone and everyone existing, in what seems to be a complicated world.

Grasping at virtues of hope with no proof.

Instead I cant resist feeling spoofed.

This is my truth.

I got many answers but with no reason for my responses.

Logic I cant explain, so I often blame the human conscience

Season after season, I’ve never really been in the right mental state

But who's really to say anymore.

Judgments made by states or saints.

I don’t know between what's happiness and what to feel

I just know today, right now, the world still evolves in all the ordeal.

And will continue evolving, even as I scream and squeal.

I can only allow it to.

Cuz every single day, my instincts and logic teach me knowledge about this fluke.

We are in a Rubix cube.

I can never change who I am and what is my character.

Maybe I just have to get rid of u

I just don’t know how to.

My mania of highs and lows hit like rodeo.

Even tho I'm the intermission clown in this scenario

Whether I overcome it or not and just like the rest, this too shall pass

Not understanding the point of overcoming this skill of strength against resistance of a love that doesnt show it back

Tapping at the glass to see who cracks

Its human nature

That's a scientific and census fact

I feel all types of way, complicated and cant escape

off the high feeling of half of me wanting to jump off a skyscrapes

And the other half wanting me to prove blind Faith

--Like nah old lady

I know I can escalate

The better half cant lose

to my other half,

Miss Half Baked.

I barely make it as a human being

but I continue to strengthen my mental well bein

I love myself but loathe my life

I dont know what I believe

All I kno is how I wanna feel

Energy is the only thing real

Converting me into something surreal

For real.

But the truth continues to be concealed

Government conspiracy or not

So my mind screams out fuck u at?

Why cant it be revealed?

Turning to music cuz the beats are keeping my body to heal

And the lyrics that help my mind deal.

With the weed all I need

Fuckin right I'm a fiend

Inbetween I daydream of intense dreams versus

with the idea that God may be a scheme

Living nightmare or existing in a dream

With religion being the main theme

So look,

Though I'm scared of the stroke i cant & wont stop takin tokes

Knowing dat this da shit adding to my croak but still I continue to smoke

My only outlet to cope with at lifes joke - this worlds a hoax

Fuk aiming for the seat on the 1000 swords and being crowned

I'm cold as snow but I ain't no Jon

My moves are like nightwalkers

Reacting only to how u sound

With my smile upside down,

Its more a sneer than a frown

My Lifestyle rastafarian

tho 100% kabul born Afghanistan

South Asian sophisticated Barbarian

Brought up in American Land

I feel like arya stark

I got a team who be like Targarians

Understand that I'm not hindu Indian

Trinis not the same as jamaicans and dominicans arent Puerto Ricans

different types of caucasians

Like Irish and Italians

Dont confuse the brands and have followers following the wrong fans

There it goes again

My mind racing and pacing

My imagination going crazy

Yes baby

Your the reason for my insanity