acting prose

I don’t know if this is actually what I wanted

Its hard to say what I want

I got a fucking degree in acting and all they kept asking me was

What do you want

what do you want

And I would always be like

I don’t fucking know

Do people generally want? Do people got about their lives identifying their wants?

I want very simple things - I want to go to bed, I want to get a mcchicken from McDonalds, I want to be a world famous actress, I want to find a boy that will take it slow with me, I want to dance in my room and be silly because it makes me feel alive, I want to be the next Meryl Streep.

These are all very normal wants, aren’t they?

But in acting school they were never good enough, never specific enough, even if they made sense to me they didn’t make sense to them.

So I thought it was better not to want.

I thought it was better to be clay and be sculpted

I thought it was better to be a blank canvas and let someone else mix the colors

I thought I thought I thought

What about actions? What are you doing?

What do you want them to say or do OR how do you want them to change

If I had a fucking nickel…

Now I’m out of school and sometimes I don’t know if I want at all

Maybe its a gen z thing (i thought I was a millennial for such a long time)

Maybe its a

I didn’t complete that thought