Abacus of Breath

my nervous system is delicate as a catgut string

Stradivarius line-of-life

between a novice's fingers and a guillotine

vibrating, making waves until I batter it, defaced

and it needs a rebrand, else replace

there isn't a thing that escapes, boy do I notice

painfully aware to the marrow in my toes

Japa Mala momma won't you heal my bones?

they hold my woes, bound within wood

as it slides across the digits in four-four measures

but breathing is no salvation to those who drown

and it can't save me now

the icing on a chocolate cake hits my tongue

like a freight ending the life of an unassuming swallow

or the fright that jolts an ender,

meeting her end, stuck in her mind, in a funeral home

and it overwhelms, it shakes, shakes me to the core

the world is too much and I find myself shrinking

a sucker to the allure of the micro-cut mind

unseeing past several feet

engaging only internally, a selected blind

I like it until the outside knocks

and the gaps I allowed to pass

come to collect the debt found in imbalance

I cannot be in balance, cracking at the head

until there's nothing left

I'm made a mess

oh dear, that debt