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A Year Without You

A Letter Written to an Angel

By James BrownbackPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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A year without you and I have no clue what to do.

Every night I toss and turn in hopes that I see you in my dreams, if not in one, at least a few.

Day by day, it feels as if my world is crashing between each and every seem.

It's so hard without you here.

If you asked me how many days I needed you, I'd say seven.

Often, I wonder what you're doing way up there, ya know, way up in Heaven.

In the clouds, so high, I bet you're as beautiful as the butterflies dancing on top of lily petals in mid-July.

It is still hard without you here.

I have so many things I want to share with you.

In one year without you I feel like I've lived through five.

So much has happened to me, both good and bad.

I wish I could share them with you but I'm stuck here, stuck on sad with too many tears to cry.

Still hard, harder each day.

When I'm at my darkest it gets to the point where I want to take my own life just to spend time with you.

Even just four minutes is still time spent with you.

I want to know what it would be like to chase the clouds, just us two.

It is still hard without you, slowly progressing though, patiently waiting here.

Every time these thoughts run to the forefront of my head

I hear your voice... you tell me, "Chin up!" then you tell me, "Smile and move on."

"Is it really that simple Grandmom?"

You always said life is too short and I repeat that mantra to myself every morning.

It's a constant reminder that even through all of this mourning, even though you aren't physically present, your spirit comes without warning.

You've been giving me signs that you're up there, soaring.

Therefore, take this letter as my sign to you that you meant everything to me and still do.

I love you or I miss you, a little bit of the two.

Lately, I cannot choose, but If I am happy here, I know that you are happy there.

Always, always harder without you.

love poems
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