A Visit from St. Nick

T’was the night before Christmas and throughout living rooms

the families were gathering via Facetime and Zooms

No stockings were hung on a chimney nor a chair

Because visiting a house during Covid? Even St. Nick wouldn’t dare.

Our pets were snoozing while we viewed movies in bed,

White Christmas with Bing Crosby — costumes by Edith Head.

My wife with her bourbon and I with my scotch

Had just settled in to see what else we’d watch.

When out on our street came a raucous sound

Starting Rose, our dog, barking and running around.

I sprang from the bed to grab hold of our dog

for until then she was out cold like a burnt out Yule log.

The moon on a car of the honking driver below

Shown road salt residue and exhaust-dirtied snow.

When what to my wondering eyes did I see

But a miniature pup in our yard taking a pee.

With a white-bearded owner so impatient and thick,

I knew in a moment he must be…St. Nick?

More rapid than snowplows he scooped up a poo.

First he whispered, then shouted: “Sorry, did we wake you?!”

“Now, Dasher, my pinscher who prances and pees,

On home we must go as fast as you please.

To the end of the street, and into our door.

Dash on home, dash home, to deliver gifts galore.”

As leaves that upon the wild wind take flight,

Like a dog with a bone, Santa’s leash Dasher did fight.

All down the street, the lil pup stopped and sniffed

Even though Santa Claus was clearly quite miffed.

And then, muffled cursing, I heard down the lane.

For Santa’s puppy had ahold of an old candy cane.

As he pulled on the leash and kept turning around

I wondered if St. Nick would get off the ground.

Could he deliver presents to the immunized young?

(Gifts that by now had encountered Dasher’s tongue.)

At long last he coaxed the young pup to make haste.

The more she’d lingered, the less time he'd had to waste.

His eyes — how they flashed! His temples — how weary!

His cheeks now were flushed, his stare — quite scary.

His tight-lipped mouth was drawn up in a scowl

And a bedraggled beard now resembled an owl.

A bag full of treats he clutched in one hand,

But his fat dog ignored it; it wasn’t her brand.

He had a broad face and a right plump tummy

For he, too, indulges on treats that are yummy.

He was stout, round, and I found that seeing this old elf

Made me laugh like Clement Moore — in spite of myself.

A shrug of his shoulders and a shake of his head

Reminded me that we too weren’t getting our pup back to bed.

Though he spoke not a word, Nick continued to mutter

And dragged his dog home in a path like a stutter.

Then reaching his door and wiping her paws,

St. Nick handed his puppy to Mrs. Santa Claus.

He jumped in a truck, driving as fast as allowed;

Grateful our street had just recently been plowed.

Then I heard him exclaim, as he drove from my sight —

“Puppy Christmas to all, and to all a good doggy night!”

© 2021 Leigh-Anne Dennison

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This fabricated tale was inspired by the original and iconic poetic work written by Clement Clarke Moore. While my version is my own, I have to give credit to Moore for the familiar rhythm and rhyme.

My first draft of this encounter with St. Nick was authored in Christmas 2020, the first Yule we shared with our rescued pandemic puppy). For a year it languished in my writing journal. Of course, I didn’t realize last December that a Covid-variant would create another wave of illness and more death across the U.S. and around the world — impacting the 2021 holiday season. But, since it has, I decided to revisit this Visit with St. Nick and polish it for publication. Assuming you find my sense of humor funny at all, I hope this fiction account (because everyone knows that Santa doesn’t live in Cleveland) gives you a grin or giggle.

While sharing this parody of Moore’s work in the hopes of bringing a little holiday cheer to a challenging year, it also comes with a wish for any who read it: may you have a safe and happy holiday season in whatever the holiday and configuration may be celebrated by you and yours, and may health, wealth, and happiness reside with you in the new calendar year.