A Poem About What It's Like to Live with Bipolar Disorder

My Flaws

Hello me, I think we might be in trouble here.

Part of me is frightened, part of me has no fear.

I'm trying to see myself but I can't see clear.

Sometimes I wonder who's that staring back at me in the mirror.

A nonstop battle with myself inside.

A raging war from which I can not hide.

Questioning and worrying about my own trivial insecurities.

A rattling of the gears and chains inside my head signaling for some purity.

How can I live up to your expectations when I can’t live up to my own?

I only hope I will see the perseverance I have shown.

I’ll keep winning by the skin of my teeth, grabbing with my claws.

What I wouldn't give, to eliminate my flaws.

It took me so long just to be open and honest with myself.

I was hoping it would free me from my mental prison cell.

I'm trying my damnedest to like who I've become.

Thinking of all the battles I've already won.

If I focus on the past that I hate so much, I'll never have the future I want to love

My judgement of myself is raining hell from above.

No self pride here, just judgement and shame keeping me from being my best.

I've got no time for second place, I want to beat the rest.

How can I live up to your expectations when I can’t live up to my own?

I only hope You will see the perseverance I have shown.

I’ll keep winning by the skin of my teeth, grabbing with my claws.

What I wouldn't give, to eliminate my flaws.

I've tried so damn hard to be the man I want to be.

But my constant worrying will never set me free.

I'm trying still as everyday goes by to be a better version of me for you.

I will not fail, ill persevere, I'll realign my view.

Don't write me off now, because the fight will never end.

Failure is not an option and my faith will never bend

I know I deserve to let myself be a better man.

When I have you by my side I know for sure I can.

How can I live up to your expectations when I can’t live up to my own?

I only hope we will see the perseverance I have shown.

I’ll keep winning by the skin of my teeth, grabbing with my claws.

What I wouldn't give, to eliminate my flaws.

4/25/17