A Note On Your Pillow

Waking up tired and alone

The place in bed beside me

Cold and empty

Without you

***

You slipped out in the middle of the night

Only a note on your pillow left behind

You left when I was at my most vulnerable

Never to come back

***

Dawn breaks on a new morn

Then sheds its light to noon

And I’m still laying here head in hands

When the new day is done

***

Laying prone in bed

Facing your note

Afraid to touch it

Lest it becomes real

***

On your pillow

Like a trespasser

It seems to taunt me

As if I was a lesser,

***

Man than you needed me to be

To make you stay around

To make you happy,

But I am not that man

***

They say it’s better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all

But these words sound trite to me

I don’t believe in them at all

***

I finally can bear it no longer

I reach out for the note

With its ill portents to deliver

***

Its’ scent of you

Is like a slap in the face

As are its words

I feel like a disgrace,

***

Of a man to have failed you

To have given you no choice

But to leave me

In the middle of the night

***

I feel no ill will towards you, my love

I just wish I was the man you needed me to be

I wish you happiness for the rest of your life

And I hope your next love is better than me

***

I put the note back on its pillow

And sleep sweet dreams of you

Well into the night

Dreaming you are still here with me