A Never-Ending Deep Breath

Laying in my bed, motionless

Is there nothing left to keep me asleep?

No there wasn't, I was just stuck in a trace and hope for the best.

But it's hard to say what went so wrong

because even now this is failing me in the end.

It's like the walls are finally caving in

But this time they will bend and break and finally fill the release I need

All the past trauma I used to believe

Breathing in takes way too long, and this weakness just keeps going on.

Breathing out, I feel the doubt

I had you in my grip but I already let you slip.

My identity used to fill this room alone

It used to bring the best out of me, now it's bringing out the worst in me.

It's killing every hero I look up to

Setting every demon free and they are all ready to kill me

I think I'm finally giving in because of this

To become a sin, a villain, something bad and cold

It doesn't matter where I look

I'm always gone in picture or paintings

Poses and different clothes I used to wear

Because I know when I look in the mirror

You're not me, you're not with me, I know now I'll never win.

You're here but I'm lost

It's better though when I'm empty but I let you in tearing every part of me.

You made the mistakes, and your apart of me

I want to break you open, trade places, and make you face all of this

Feel what I feel

Yet

There is no peace for wicked people like me

Unless I finally grip you again but only to stop breathing.

But I need you in my life, cause you're the only one who isn't leaving