A Love Poem Instead of This

You asked me to write you a love poem,

Because there are plenty of good moments to make of them,

but instead, my words flow on the page,

of all the words I choose not to say,

You want to hear the words of how your smile makes me flutter,

And how deeply we love one another,

How I love the way you intentionally make me the perfect bite,

or how you kiss me good morning or good night,

You want me to tell you my hopes and dreams of us,

where we began and how it grew into love,

you want to hear how excited I am about our futures,

and how you help me heal my hurt,

You want me to proclaim the reasons I love you,

Instead, I sit here and write why those words aren't true,

We began so quick,

I was so excited to learn everything about you,

I needed someone to believe in too,

Once upon a time your face seemed so unfamiliar,

you became my touch tank cure,

someone to make pizza for,

someone to think about something more, with,

And that filled me for a bit,

for a while you lit me up,

made me excited to love, again,

Something I wanted to once again imagine,

but even though part of me got there,

There was a clear indication something's missing in the air,

something I could not add a title too,

something I have always knew,

but never wanted to acknowledge,

Something I could try to explain, but you would not get,

you would say I am in my head,

convincing me otherwise while in bed,

you would keep talking me off the ledge,

and I keep letting you,

Because I don't want to believe this something missing is true,

I want to live in our highlight real,

embrace all the loved moments I get to feel,

Because I met you,

But you deserve more than what feelings are true,

for me,

You deserve to see,

that with you I breathe, better,

I see the world lighter,

I decided to be a fighter,

for us, instead of the quitter I am,

I wish I truly saw you in my plans,

but I don't,

I should be missing you every week that I am away,

crave your lips and body, counting down the days till I see your face,

I should feel like a part of me is missing,

Heartbroken over thinking about us not kissing,

But I am not,

The need to have you in my life is lost,

And though your smile makes me smile,

and your legs fit within mine,

Your hair is made of my hand's dreams

and you matter to me,

this something missing feeling,

hasn't gone away in all this time,

It remains here,

Evan after our fights that end in tears,

and us talking to each other through our fears,

it is still there,

Reminding me,

Even in the calmest states of our relationship,

That feeling of needing you has been missed,

I wish,

I had a love poem to give to you instead of this!