A Lonely Womb

As if haunted by a ghost within

I felt the breath of what had been

I never felt the kick nor complained

I never said your beautiful name

I am sorry for I could not recite

To anyone what happened that lonely night

Twelve weeks of holding you, my secret blessing

Memories so blue.

Each day I walked carefully, hoping n'er to stir thee

I prayed to an unknown God that you would live

Like the others should've.

You were my secret, my very own

My heart still aches you did not come home

Those three months I felt so sure

That if I remained calm, it would cure

The shredded walls of years before

You were not my first that was never born

Your life I will forever mourn

Bent over with salty tears, pain still rings

From my earlier years.

Little star, I want you to know, I am sorry

That we could not grow, closer as Mother and child

I trust that you are a spirit free with a smile

I learned something that saved my life

Loving you strengthened me

You taught me patience

I found in time

That I could share love

Without confines

My womb did not carry the child I love

Yet no less love has been spared

Like a sunray on a gray day

Your life though short taught me to believe

Love is great in any degree

My child now grown

Knows not of you

Fear kept me from being true

For they are loved with a full heart

Never compared to your first start.

My womb is old now, growing smaller

As natural as the river flows

I thought about you just a night ago

You my teacher, a lesson well taught

Love is fleeting, love is fraught

Your name is Grace, so sweet the smell

Of the blood we shared

That night in hell

I have no answer, but I know

You are with me even so.

Twelve weeks, baby Grace

Drawers I lined with clothes and lace

I miss you in a happy way

For you gave me what I have today.

A family not built on blood

Yet as bountiful

As the light that floods

Across the moon, into my heart

You gave me Grace, a bigger heart.