A Letter to Grandma

I vividly remember the warm caresses, sweet kisses, and tight embraces that comforted me whenever I felt sad, anxious, or lonely. I still carry your advice with me, guiding me through times of hopelessness, distrust, and solitude.

I remember once again the smiles that became my guiding light, giving me a reason to fight even when everything around me seemed chaotic.

Because of your smiles, you gave me a reason to trust myself even when everyone else had given up. Because of your smiles, you gave me a reason to stay happy even when I felt lonely.

I remember once again those hands that I wish I could still hold onto. I remember the stories of your joyful youth, the mischief of your childhood, the suitors when you were a young lady, and how your grandfather made you feel loved when you became a wife.

I wish it was all just a dream.

I wish I had told you how much I love you.

I wish I had hugged you tightly before falling asleep.

I wish I had sung your favorite songs to you.

"I wish I had given you the red lipstick you wanted."

I wish I had thought of all these things earlier. Before... Before you were gone. It's sad to think that all I can hear now are your voices, your beautiful singing, your enchanting stories, and your unforgettable advice. In my dreams. It's sad to think that I can only say all of this... In the wind. How are you, Grandma?

With every breath, With every blink of the eye, With every drop of sweat, A memory is formed. A memory that can never be erased from the mind. In the minds of everyone you've been with. People who will never forget The goodness you've shown.

You were a great mother, A great daughter, A great wife, A great friend, A great grandmother to your beloved grandchildren who will never forget you.

Grandma, thank you for raising your children, Your children who are now our parents. Without you, we wouldn't be here today. You and grandpa are the beginning and end of our lives.

Now you have passed away.

The great child, wife, mother, friend, and grandma have been taken by the Lord to His kingdom. Though it hurts, we need to accept it.

Perhaps you are at peace now. Perhaps you can see us.

However, there are still lingering doubts left. Regrets that can no longer be undone, even if in the last moment, it was hoped to catch a glimpse, to be kissed and to reconcile. What meaning does suffering have when everything has already passed? Grateful for the joyful moments, unique blessings that will never be forgotten. Only wishing for the well-being of all. Holding on to great dreams, accompanied by hope in the midst of the storm.

Not for oneself, but for others, to have felt love for a long time. Embracing the hearts and minds of many.

After enduring pain, weariness and weakness finally met. Leaving behind the world that was lived in. Eleven children have been lost, countless grandchildren shed tears. A wife filled with sorrow, reluctantly accepting the outcome. Praying for eternal peace.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My message,

I want to feel sad because of your departure. But if I think about it, you won't have a hard time, Because wherever you're going, there won't be any sickness No more suffering and pain to endure. Grandma,,So many names I called you, Now you can rest peacefully. But if we really think about it, it's truly scary. But we will be able to handle it, so go towards the light. I am deeply grateful that you were my guide as I grew up. Now you will always be relied upon as our guide, For us who are left behind and deeply saddened. Thank you grandma, thank you for your care and true love. Truly, I will not forget you And I know that you never abandoned me. All I can give you as a parting gift is prayers and peace. Know that we will be able to handle it because you taught us. I will not forget your sweet smiles. That, because of excessive laughter, you couldn't hold your pee. Even if I become your caregiver It's okay and I will say that I will miss it. Goodbye grandma, until our next meeting, Please tell grandpa not to scare me if you show up. But honestly, I already miss you so much. This is your sincere sight that can be seen in my eyes.

Grandson, Liama