A Friend Indeed

I understand my shortfalls, my insecurities,

I understand the effects of my life traumas, my pain,

I’m well aware of my resulting independence, my strength,

And I’m definitely aware of the wall I built to keep me sane.

**

Behind that wall is a hidden world, a beautiful playground,

Of scenery so precious that it tells the story of my past,

Memories rarely shared, worlds built alone in solitude,

Love and adventures that I hold tightly in my grasp.

**

I have a heart that due to necessity, has been locked up tight,

For years that locked combination has caused others to turn away,

For it’s in solitude that I stand the test of time,

Solitude that beats back my sorrows and allows that little bit of peace to stay.

**

I’ve heard the rumours, the whispered comments of how I’m an Ice Queen,

By those that have been beaten by my resilience, my courage,

I’ve felt the destructive lies to take away those last few I love,

To crumble my world, destroy the little I have in jealousy and rage.

**

I’ve felt the crippling savageness of those that don’t wish to understand,

And I’ve felt the forgetfulness of those that remove me from their heart,

Those that won’t bare witness to their own weakness, their own cruelty,

So I allow those broken souls to leave, to forever depart.

**

I’m understanding of my imperfections, my unfathomable depths of past mistakes,

To the point where I’ve given up on love and friendship, seldom aware,

Knowing the falsity of what’s being offered, seeing through the curtains if you will,

Mostly having my eyes opened before I allow my heart to care.

**

But there’s always one that pounds upon that blockage,

One who refuses to walk away when I reject,

That one that can see past my pain, my trauma, my standoffishness,

All borne from consistent emotional cruelty and neglect.

**

It is this one that I find worthy,

And I allow them access to my closed off heart,

A much welcomed addition to those hidden within,

To join my family, my friends, those that I trust and honour from the start.

**

It is this rare individual that always arrives when I least expect,

Who’ll see that I am worthy of their insistence, who’ll plant a friendship seed,

And then quietly wait and watch as it slowly blossoms,

That one special stranger who is actually a friend indeed.

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Originally published on Medium