A Flash.
Love would come, blinking fast, it would come, it would come, it would come again.
people are always
expecting me
to fuck
like a porn star
I only play one
on the teevee
some
times
and this time i’d wanted to.
i’d really wanted to
fuck to black
fuck to forgetting.
I was sleeping
with women I felt
wanted to devour me.
perhaps they did.
perhaps they didn’t.
perhaps I wanted
them to.
surprised to find me
softer, sweeter,
than what they’d
imagined
in a bedroom.
and then the fall
and the run
me running
sans shoes
through the night
away from mosh
pits of fantasy
disguised
as love
my arms
limp spaghetti
i’d only wanted
to be tossed
round a room
against a wall
am I ready yet
cum till I wept
a life in monogamy
hasn’t worked yet
I’m not taking bets
but I might be done
and then the gifts
they started coming
what were they buying?
what were they silencing?
never knew one
that didn’t have
the price tag
left on
I had to go
a blizzard.
January in Texas
blanket of snow
on the Texan street
the Texan cacti
an orange tree
and me alone
with my feelings
and my friends
and my feelings
and the snow
and with it
I could near hear
the radiator
blurring steam
in New York
all couples
becomes teams
fighting the elements
in winter
even the dead ones
rally and try again
a simple means
of survival
a heart fed
I could feel
our sheets
kicked off socks
from heat
at the foot
of a bed
our home
not my home
anymore
a sleep
like I’ve never had
before
or again
her head
on my
warm chest
busy street
where poets
once poet-ed
now karaoke
and hot dogs
yuppies
their voices
bouncing
off walls
of glass
and still
a place
you could feel
time
that bed
that building
that view
of a snowblown
city street
in morning
and—
gone.
the Texas snow.
and the feeling.
fast as they’d come.
and she—
like out of a sad dream
an almost nightmare
a misspent
beautiful dream
headlights
blaring past
screaming
love would come
blinking fast
it would come
it would come
it would come
again
a comet
hurling
and for a flash
she was a light.
About the Creator
Jen Parkhill “JP”
Jen Parkhill “JP”, a first generation Cuban-American artist and proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Cat dad, writer, filmmaker, actor, friend, and graduate of the Tisch School of the Arts, NYU.
Hurling through time.
@jenparkhill
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