A Car Goes Down Into Water

I have dreams about drowning on nights when my anxiety gets bad.

A car goes down into water.

I avoid it the best I can.

It's the anticipation of flooding in my lungs—

I know what that feels like, a painful step up in intensity from a hyperventilating struggle to breathe,

a burn instead of a gasp, a battle to inhale.

The car goes off the bridge, and I am always a passenger

out of control

stuck and panicked under the pressure

sinking as it all starts to pour in through the cracks.

I wake up fighting for air too often, and it never gets easier.