A better man

When I saw her, it went from impossible to inexorable;

The words lingered in my mouth, but did not come out;

The library was the place she was when I laid my eyes upon;

And the library was the recurrent place to go from then on;

Days passed by where I did not read a single book;

Seeing her for a few hours a day was all it took;

There was no resemblance from my former self;

I was hooked, I just couldn’t anymore be myself;

What if I wasn’t enough? This shouldn’t be this tough;

I could try sounding confident, but she would call my bluff;

I didn’t care about girls before. Shall I repent and disremember?

Well, before I decided it was already December;

Classes were over, holidays were upon us;

Would I have the courage to talk to her on the bus?

No, I wouldn’t. There she went, away for weeks;

And suddenly my skin shrieks;

I can’t let her go, I can’t let her leave;

I need to see her, I need to make her perceive;

Courage was gathered;

But when I walked up to her, my heart shattered;

I could see him, another boy, sitting by her;

All of my wishes would stay as they were;

Wishes only, nothing more than intangible objects;

I sat down and thought about projects;

Yes, projects;

All the things I would do on the holydays would be for her;

Everything was her;

I would work on myself, physically and mentally;

I would become a better version of myself and it would not be accidentally;

It fueled me, her that is;

It got me going to do this;

And I did not stop;

I wanted to get to the top;

Once I started, I realized how amazingly well I felt;

The process of improvement gave me a sense of self;

I would wake up and exercise;

I would read until my brain grew in size;

When I returned to the library weeks after, there she was again;

Oh God, she could have all the men;

She looked even more beautiful than before;

She was everything I ever asked for;

Her eyes were like emeralds recently polished;

Her hair was ruby, still unpolished;

The confidence that I gained made everything easy;

And our conversation was almost cheesy;

Her smile made me smile;

And her words had style;

Rather, they were hard;

It made her sound so smart;

For once, I was glad I took upon reading;

For I too knew the meaning of embedding;

“What is your favorite book?” She asked;

“Dante’s Inferno.” I answered;

She was impressed, and I was too;

How could such a beautiful angel be true?

We spent hours talking about books;

By the end of it, I realized it was not only the looks;

That girl was special in so many ways;

I could see myself by her in the end of my days;

It wasn’t long until I realized I was better with her;

No matter when or where we were;

We pushed each other;

We loved each other;

After so many years and so many kids;

I am still so in love with her, God forbid;

Sometimes I even thank the boy at the bus;

For if it wasn’t for him, I would not be ready for us;

I learned that being a better person brings joy to all around me;

Even without talking to her, back then she already molded who I was going to be;

A better man for my woman;

A better man for society;

A better man

Thank you, my love