The one I needed.....

The day I thought would never come one time came. I remember growing up we used to beg my mother for a dog. Like LILTERALLY BEG…… and not just for a dog. For any type of pet. Well, anything other than a fish. That was the only pet we were allowed. My mother was an OCD neat freak on crack. Meaning the chances of us EVER getting a dog was slim. The chances on us ever getting a pet that didn’t belong in a cage was nonexistent. Not a hamster, not a bunny, not a cat…. Nothing!

Then that day came…... we were visiting some family in Los Angeles, but this visits we would leave with so much more than what we came with! Instantly I walked in the house, and the smell of burning tortilla filled my nose. It smelled like a laid-back family gathering. Usually when it’s a bigger family event I’d smell an array of green, burgundy, and red spices dancing together in the fumes of what’s being cooked. However, today was just the simple hint of burnt tortilla, and melting cheese. As usual my mother came in judging my Tia’s poor cleaning habits, and hygiene, and sense of style. It then moved over to how badly behaved my cousins were. Honestly, I thought that was a normal Hispanic greeting. Of course, the room filled with tension and fighting. Yet through the chaos I heard a sweet yipping. Small in sound but pure in nature. As soon as I turned my head to look at what that sound was. There she was looking at me through the glass door that led out to the patio. Eyes big and brown and innocent.

Entranced in the beauty that my eyes laid on, I immediately head to the back yard. “She’s mine .. she’s perfect! Friendly and sweet….” My tio who drove us there said. You know when you imprint on something you feel compelled to have it. I was 9 years old and new I wanted her. My aunt had just explained to us weeks earlier their dog was having babies. I knew better than to get my hopes up high. And yet just like that …. after seeing her for the first time. I still did. I could feel my heart melting to my gut. I knew what Victor wanted; victor got. Always! Especially now…. Because he didn’t have a warden telling him no. He was grown and could do as he pleased, and I was not. Crushed because I knew my Tia would say yes. “ puedes mirar pero no estamos consiguiendo un perro.” My mother said. Meaning I could look but were never getting a dog. Not before, not now, Not EVER.

So, I decided to do that and just look. It was love at first sight when I saw her, but with him it was different. He was a black Rottweiler, with a shiny coat. No more than 6weeks old. He stumbled like Bambi. Shy in nature he avoided me. Then my brothers, then everyone else. I wasn’t in love with im, Like I was with her. He was just as cute of course… but it was her outgoing spirit that made me want her so badly. I knew she would be cuddly, and friendly, and fun. Him however, well to be honest …. I just didn’t see the vision. But I knew I didn’t need to because as far as I was concerned, we were not leaving with a dog. However, the same man who swiped up my future dog from me….. was the same exact man to convince my mother to allow us to bring home a dog. I decided bringing back ANY dog was better than NOT bringing one back. I started on my quest …high on life. Viewing each and any dog as an opportunity for a lifelong friend. One that I was not aware I needed so badly.

I was looking with fresh new eyes this time. I also was out there long enough for the babies to and the mama to know I was friendly and intended no harm. Yet and still HE standoffish. While all his siblings played on my jumped on me, and even showed me their endearment but licking me. He did none of that…. Just watched. After being out in the unforgiving sun for some time. He came over and rested his head on me. I got so excited I yelled for my family to come look and he got up and left, at the sound of my obnoxious excitement. Observant and distant in nature. Yet he was the one my mother chose, because well he was acting less like a dog, than the other ones. Interesting enough, the same reason why she wanted him, was the same reason I was hoping she would choose another one instead.

Once home he was reluctant to do anything. Sniffing out the new apartment that would be his home. He was still tame in nature. But MY GOD…… were we happy he was just there. And ours. So whatever reason I didn’t want him before was null and void. Kind of like a baby. It’s perfect because it’s yours. As time went on, we grew our own kind of bond. I spent whatever free time I had following him around our tiny apartment pretending to be him. Every time he yawned, I yawned. When he scratched, I lifted my leg to pretend to scratch. I think I might have annoyed him or something because he put his head down on his paws and face me. So, in turn I did the same exact thing. Put my two little hands on top of each other and perched my head on them. I stared back at him directly in the eyes because he was amazing. Later finding out that Rottweilers find that extremely aggressive. Then his nose scrunched up and a low growl came out. Before I could back up, he leapt at me. Stunned and sad and still very young myself, I avoided him. Sulking for the rest of the day I stayed far away from him. Yet sweet as he was, he knew. He trotted over to me later in the day and rested his head on my leg as he did when we first met. Licked me and nudged me with his gentle nose to get up and play. That’s when I knew!

I Began to understand hustle a little more. He was only so stand offish because the world. Even though he would one day grow to be big in this current moment he was small. The world was scary …and he already knew at six weeks he was different from his siblings. Much like me! He was observant because he wanted to survive, much like me. He was distant because prior to the 6 weeks he was the only that didn’t get his mother’s attention, and milk. His bothers and sisters had knicked him, so he only fed when they weren’t around. Problem is they were ALWAYS around. Eventually turning him into the runt of the litter. Like me… I was the smallest of my litter as well. He knicked me but couldn’t not feel bad about it. So made his way over to apologize. Much like me.

I wanted Her because she was everything I wasn’t as a 7-year-old kid, she was outgoing and fun and playful. She well liked…and expressive. I think I thought she would give me the type of love I was missing in my day-to-day life. But it was him who did that for me. She was the dog I wanted…..but he was the dog I NEEDED.