The Great Cat Burgle

Reading the title, one might think I misspelled burglar and I am about to tell the tale of a marvelous thieve. There is, in fact, some truth to that, but not in the way one would think. I have two amazing beasts, or rather the two cats have me. I believe once upon a time, both these little love bugs had owners, but they were not doing their job. Technically, I stole them and I never looked back. I never kept the cats against their will they could come and go whenever they wanted. Funny, they decided to stay with me, food and a warm couch and a lot of attention will do that.

Duchess, also known as Fluff, Fluffers, and Fluffernutter, is an orange poof ball. She has the fluffiest, softest fur I have ever seen. When I first met her, and she finally allowed me to pick her up I was appalled at how little she weighed. From a neighbor, I learned that she had a home, but they were clearly not taking care of her. I never kept her in or kidnapped her. She just started showing up and at first, I just fed her and left a blanket on the porch for her to sleep on. I wanted to bring her inside, but well, we aren’t really allowed to have pets and my boyfriend was not so hot on the idea. So, I set out to make it his idea and poof suddenly I had a cat!

My boyfriend has a big heart and loves all animals he just was a little hesitant to take in a cat, but Duchess kept coming up to our house. It rained and was cold and here was this beautiful cat left outside. I would sit on the porch and feed her and pet her even though she was skittish and afraid. Greg, my boyfriend, started coming out too and giving her attention, and I knew the time was right. I told him that I would bring her inside, but we weren’t supposed to have pets so I would just make sure she was warm and had food. I let him know that porch was dry even when it rained. He decided that to hell with the no pets, everyone in the neighborhood had pets, and told me that she shouldn’t have to be on the porch. I acted hesitant, “Are you sure?” and made all the right noises and he put his foot down and told me to bring her into the house. Victory!

It has been me and the Duchess ever since, thick as thieves. Her favorite things to do include laying on the table so that everyone that passes by will pet her and yowling at people if they do not give her enough attention. She still goes outside every now and then, but only for a few minutes and then she comes running back inside, which is where she belongs, preferably within petting distance.

Our other beastie is a spunky little devil. Boots otherwise known as the Devil, Boots mighty bird murderer, and Grenade is a feisty cat with so much spunk people can’t help but love her even when she is attacking your feet because you got just a little too close. Her pass times include leaving dead mice and birds on my porch because she thinks I am a lousy hunter, following me on walks, and watching the fish tank like it is her personal television.

I named Boots and her name comes with the story of how she became ours, or we became hers. We had some neighbors that moved out, they left their cat and one of the cats from her litter behind. They came for the mamma cat eventually, but the kitten was left behind. Once again, I am pretty sure she had a home somewhere in the neighborhood, but they were not feeding her or caring for her. The first time I bathed her the water was brown.

Still, I was pretty sure she had a home and I thought maybe I could find out who it was and offer to help them out, maybe buy them some cat food or just give them some basic cat owner tips. However, Greg was not having it. This little black and white monster had captured his heart and we both fed her and gave her attention. She had no name because she was not our cat.

However, one day I said, “Take Boots to the room, she keeps attacking my laptop and I am trying to concentrate.” I called her Boots because she has little white feet and I was just looking for something to call her instead of “that cat” or “devil.” When I called her Boots, my boyfriend looked at me in triumph as if he had just won the lottery and he said, “That’s it. You named her. She is ours!” And from that moment on she was.

That is the story of how Duchess and Boots came to live with me. Taking care of your pets is very important, these beautiful creatures depend on us for care. Now you know the story of how I “stole” my cats. That’s right, I burgled my cats, does that make me a cat burglar?