Reunited

This story that I am about to tell you is made up of true events. It is very difficult to go back through these memories. I have stored them away in the very back of my counciousness and forgot about them. It is sometimes easier to forget painful memories. However, in order to heal we must sometimes remember the pain we have endured, the lesons we have learned and how we survived. This is the tale of a very true friend who endured lifes most painful event with me. Through it all he stood by my side and was the most faithful companion. This is not just one memory but how a dog saved me from the hardest challenge I ever had to face.

The day started like any other, my husband had the day off. I woke up early as the babies woke me up. Tim was 22 months old and Faith was just 9 months old. Tim was a layed back baby, quiet and observant. Faith on the other hand was a fiery adventurer, ready to take on whatever challenge you handed to her.

I remember sitting on the couch watching my husband play on the floor with our children, they were so happy. They say hindsight is 2020, if I knew then what I know now I would have changed everything. Little did I know that would have been the last happy moment my children had with their faither, and they were too young to even remember it.

Rocky our english lab was around there somewhere, probaly lying under the kitchen table. He was a very good dog, protective but calm. They say english labs are very loyal dogs and that he was.

My husband had Rocky before I came in the picture. He (my husband) was legally deaf and he got Rocky to alert him to different things in life. He could hear when he put his hearing aids in but like people with glasses, he didn't like to wear them all of the time.

My husband had gotten a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. He had wanted to write to the district attorney and try to fight the ticket. This was the time where people wore bluetooth ear pieces and, wearing hearing aids, he couldn't wear a bluetooth piece.

My husband was the general manager of a restaurant and the call wasn't a real emergency but in "business/restaurant life" it was.

So, he was sitting at our computer typing the letter up. Faith was playing in the background being her usual crazy self. She was screeching and throwing toys, being a typical baby.

The loud screeching and high pitched noises hurt my husbands ears, especially when he was wearing his hearing aids.

Managing a restaurant meant that he worked quite a bit, we rarely got to see him. Furthermore, we had moved 60 minutes away from our family so he could have this opportunity. That being said it was a very difficult and lonely year for me, being alone with two children most of the day.

That morning my husband quickly grew frustrated as he said this was the only time he had to take care of the ticket. It upset me that he was frustrated with a child that he never got to see. We both became heated and an argument ensued.

I was only 23 years old at the time and very immature. There were very big untreated mental health issues happeing with my husband at the time. I was too yound and naive to notice. As I said before, hindsight is 2020.

Mental illnes is real, its no joke, something people should take very very seriously. If you or someone you know are suffering from a mental illness reach out and get help.

Somewhere there after the "accident" occured. I am choosing to call it an accident because the decision my husband made was not well thought out, or if it was I did not know. I refuse to believe that he actually meant to follow through with the events that happened next. Never the less, the choice he made removed him from our lives forever. I wish I could have just one more moment just to tell him how we all loved and needed him.

The rest of that morning was full of strangers, police, and paramedics in our home. I had lost so much of my sanity in those moments I cannot really say what took place.

I do remember that the dog warden came and took Rocky away. They were going to hold him at the dog pound until I could figure out what would happen next.

I was so consumed with protecting my children and being distought over what happened that, I am ashamed to say, I did not think of Rocky in those moments and how scared he must have been. Did he understand what was going on? One mintute he was with his family and the next being taken to a pound.

The next few days I had taken the time to get mine and my husbands affairs in order and notify people of the great loss we have suffered.

They say that time heals everything and I do not believe that to be true. I have hidden away these memories for a very long time but as I recall them its as if I am walking through them all over again. The pain feels very real and very fresh.

It was only a few days that Rocky had spent away from us. I remember that I was insistant in getting him as quickly as possible. It was an hour drive from where I was staying with my family back to get Rocky. I was so anxious and could not even imagine what he must have been feeling.

The woman I spoke to at the shelter when I arrived stated that he was very anxious, did not like the barking and that it was very hard to get him to go out and go to the bathroom. She stated that he had not eaten much while he was there. I am not sure if it was fear or if he was depressed, confused etc. It hurts me deeply to remember what he went through.

I waited outside of the building and the woman went to retrieve him. She came back walking him on a leash. He did not see me at first, instead he had his nose to the ground sniffing. It only took a few seconds before he must have picked up my scent.

His head quickly jerked up, he saw me and charged jumpng in my arms. He almost knocked me down, seeing that he was a 100 lb. dog. He squealed with excitement and his tail could have sent him flying considering how fast it was moving. I cried and held him in my arms.

Looking back, I don't know if I would have survived the loss of my husband or done as well as I did if I did not have the love of that dog.

For the rest of his days Rocky stood by myside. It was a hard few years thereafter. There were many moves before we found our forever home. The Three of us (myself and two children) and Rocky had many adventures.

He loved green tennis balls, he would chase them for hours if you let him. He had the very best nose on him, no matter what he ALWAYS found the ball. As long as I could lift him, he would go to the beach with us, he loved swimming in the water.

With Rocky around, I didn't have to be afraid. His bark sent many runnign to their cars. Once you met him, it was obvious that he was a gentle giant.

Rocky and I spent many nights lying on my bed with my arms thrown around him sobbing. I can't imagine the way he must have felt. I don't think we as people think often enough how animals suffer the loss of their person. One day his dad was there and the next he was not.

Rocky was such a faithful companion right until the end of his days. It was so hard to say goodbye to him. My heart is full of joy as I think about the moment he and my husband were reunited, on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

People say we don't deserve dogs and it's true. He was so good to me and I hope I gave him a happy life. I hope that wherever he is, he has all the tennis balls his heart desires.

I love you Rocky <3