Oh, Sure, Blame It On The Cat

"You can't just blame everything on Bean."

Yes, exactly! I thought, rubbing my head against Archie, my new favorite person in the whole world. My owner, Harley, was constantly trying to blame things on me. What about Milo!? Sometimes he's to blame, too!

What, is it because of his cute face? Oh come on, I think we all know that cats have cuter faces than dogs. Have you even seen us when we flip over? WE'RE IRRESISTIBLE.

Look at that! Adorable!

"I only blame him because he's usually the one to blame." Harley said, crossing her arms. I folded my ears back and bared my teeth at her, leaning into Archie for protection. Archie was Harley's friend, even though they didn't get along often. They mostly just argued about things about me, Archie taking my side, and Harley trying to prove her wrong. Like right now. Archie was trying to save me from that horrible lady, Harley.

"What evidence do you have that it was him?" Archie asked, stroking me along my head. I purred, pressing my head into her hand, which made her smile. I loved it when Archie smiled. It made me feel warm inside.

Harley rolled her eyes, pointed to the Milo who was sleeping on the couch, then to the broken tea kettle on the floor.

It wasn't my fault!

That tea kettle had just fallen off the counter all on it's own!

I had absolutely nothing to do with it!

"Huh." Archie said, examining the smashed tea kettle on the floor for a moment, then looking at me again. "It does seem like Harley has some solid evidence. Bean, did you do this?"

Never mind.

Archie was the worst person on planet Earth.

With a small huff through my nose, I hopped off the counter and stuck my noise and tail in the air, walking away from Harley. I heard Archie laugh behind me, but I continued to walk away, furry tail swishing through the air behind me. I'd heard enough of this false-blaming.

I was perfectly innocent!

Some might even say purr-fectly innocent!

"Look, Bean, we didn't mean to offend you." Harley said, coming around the counter to stroke me along my back. Although I tried to keep it down, I couldn't help but purr at that. "It's just that... well, most of the time you're the one knocking things off counters and breaking things."

I let out a loud, indignant meow, pulling away from her and baring my teeth angrily.

"Oh, yeah?" Harley laughed, "Well what about that time when I came into my bathroom and all my hair supplies were on the floor?"

That wasn't my fault either!

Those brushes had just... jumped onto the floor!

"And what about the time with the eggs?"

I was hungry, okay!?

Really, if you just fed me 30 million times a day like I asked, things like this wouldn't happen...

"And the time with my keys?"

Okay, well, technically, that time I hadn't broken anything, just lost the keys.

"The time with the vase?"

Well...

"And the water bottles?"

...

"The toilet paper?"

...

OKAY, FINE.

Some of those things were my fault.

"Alright, fine." I sighed, licking Harley's finger before she could say more. "I'm the one who broke the tea kettle. Sorry about that."

"Aw, listen to his cute meows." Archie cooed.

Excuse me!?

Cute meows!?

I'm trying to apologize over here!

Honestly, humans are such simple creatures...

"It's alright, Bean. I forgive you." Harley said. "Just don't do it again, Okay?"

Okay...

... At least not for the rest of the month.