Four Paws and One Big Heart

Where do you go when the pain inside is unbearable? When your heart is breaking and you just can't seem to connect with life in the real world? I was walking around mummified. I was in auto-emotive mode. Wake up, eat, dress, go to work, come home, get in bed and cry... rinse, repeat.

Five days before Christmas of 2009, I lost my very best friend. It was sudden. It was shocking. I spent the holidays planning a funeral, and on January 6 of 2010, Epiphany, the wait was over. The thing happened. I buried her body but kept her Spirit inside me, and it broke my heart every day. My decision to pack up my home business and find a brain-dead job where I wouldn't have to think; where it would be easy to mindlessly walk through this life with no goals, no responsibilities, was the goal now.

That 2010 trip around the Sun was brutal and seemed to be breaking a lot of hearts, but in the quiet distance of the Universe a soul was being prepared, one with four paws, a big heart, and the most gentle eyes.

In March of 2010, my girlfriend's sister lost her husband to Cancer. She, of course, was devastated and living alone in a big house in Florida. Her comfort was a little, newly born Maltipoo she named Mia and in the Fall of that year, my girlfriend's sister moved in with us and brought her treasure.

That is when it all became clear to me. I was still walking around like a zombie, working my brain-dead job, bringing home a two-week check, not even caring where I dropped it off until I had to cash it at some point. My usual routine was still in place, but the difference was the walk through the front door.

There was this golden, brown and white spirit jumping up and down on the living room couch whenever I opened the front door. She watched me as I walked past to drop my lunch box off on the dining room table wagging her tail, and literally begging me to pick her up and give her some love. I ignored that happy spirit. I didn't want to laugh or smile or play- especially pouring my heart out into another animal.

It was August of 2010, and I also lost my yellow lab, Fase. He was my joy, my minute man, my peanut butter. He was my exercise, my walkabout, my protector. I did not want to engage in any puppy love no matter how cute and cuddly.

I can't tell you how or when those four paws stole my heart, licked my wounds, and wrapped her soul around me, but she did it. Mia Maria Bonita Linda made me scoop her up one December evening, hug her as a burden lifted off my shoulders, light as a feather, and then she gave me kisses! So many kisses, I couldn't keep up with; so many kisses, I couldn't count them. And when I finally put her back down on the couch to go and make myself dinner, she jumped off and followed me. She stayed next to me, she followed me- still wagging her tail, still making me smile.

SIX MONTHS LATER...

Mia was no longer Mia. I renamed her, Itty Bitty. I quit that stupid job, I loved that little furry girl. We slept together, cuddled together. Itty Bitty saved my life. I began to live again. My girlfriend's sister bounced back into life as well. She saw how beautiful Itty Bitty and I were together and she blessed me. She gave me Mia's full heart, told me how wonderful it was the way I took care of her and from then on, Mia was mine. You could never, ever claim Mia, though, because her little big Spirit was placed here to love and care for the brokenhearted. I sincerely believe this.

TRAGEDY STRIKES AGAIN!

Life was rolling right along. Everybody was happy and singing. "The Bits" and I were ever so close. I was never out of her sight and vice versa. We were a pair until I had to go to work, this time at a job I enjoyed, but I still couldn't wait to get home. I couldn't wait to pick up that happy, bouncy spirit that would greet me, unfaltering, every day at the front door. Get our kisses in and start our playtime before dinner.

In February of 2013, my father passed away from heart failure. He was not particularly old but had been living with a heart condition all his life. His doctor said he probably wouldn't live to see his children graduate high school. My dad lived to see several great-grandchildren and passed at the ripe age of eighty-four.

Itty Bitty knew...she just knew there was work to be done. Love to be shared, hearts to be mended. Not only did she mend mine, but after the death of my father, I do believe, my Mom was never really herself again. But who is when you lose the best soul of your lifetime? I stayed close, very close to my mother. I made sure she knew I was around and of course, my baby girl stayed with me too. We traveled back and forth to see "granma" and a love bond grew and Itty Bitty got another nickname..."pumkin'".

I'd plop Mia in my fire engine red element and off to mother's we'd go. Opening the door to the house, there was Mom, sitting a little sad on the couch and Mia bounced and wagged her way into my mother's arms. Smiles and laughter; hugs and kisses abound!

After five years of bliss and joy; care and comfort, my mother passed. Who rescued me? We know that answer, but I could see that the loss of my mother also affected Itty Bitty. I could tell she missed my mother. She stayed so close to me. She cuddled me extra hard. she wouldn't let me out of her sight for a second. She gave me more love and more kisses than a human could ask for. In October of 2018, when my mother passed away, my "Scruunchi" was now in her eighth year of life on Planet Earth. Still wagging her tail, still giving out kisses, still filling my heart with so much joy and laughter.

Now I ask you...who comforts me when my comfort has passed? On September 12th of this year, my girl, my Mia, my Scruunchi crossed over to the other side. I can only imagine how much joy and love and laughter the Angels are getting from that happy and caring spirit. So I take with me the blessing and the gratitude and I thank the Universe for the many, many years I did have her in life and how Itty Bitty saved me over and again. Thank you, Mia. I will love you always and forever.