Don’t Sweat the Small Fluff

Why am I happy-crying over my dogs this time?

Because they just executed an absolutely flawless bedtime routine, that’s why.

We’ve been a little off-kilter the past few months since moving to a different (and awful, my goodness so awful) apartment.

I couldn’t crack the reason why my shih tzu was suddenly having accidents on my rug, when she’d never had issues at the old place.

Shoutout to Downy Unstopables, by the way. I get nothing for that link, but damn that rug smells so fresh.

My insightful significant other, with zero dog handling experience or prior pets, wondered if it may be because my new apartment had a yard, as opposed to us needing to take a walk to use the bathroom each day at my old place.

She’d been used to going at the same time each day, but now that she always has access to the yard she had no routine.

After that revelation, I began working with my dogs at intervals throughout the day, teaching them to “ask” to go out by ringing a bell.

Tonight, they finally, finally both nailed it on the first try with me hardly even prompting. They then both went out immediately and did their business.

I know this isn’t a big deal in the macro sense, but that moment was everything to me.

Since 2020, we’ve moved homes eight times, each time to a vastly different area.

We were forced to flee to another state to escape our abuser; in doing so leaving everything and everyone we’ve ever known or loved. I changed careers, majorly downgraded my living situation, and was stripped of nearly every resource I’d had prior to abuse.

Any sense of normalcy for my dogs and I has been completely altered. We’ve had to adjust to change after change in our daily lives.

But all along this wild ride, these girls have been clinging to me like Velcro. Who am I kidding? It takes two sides to make Velcro stick.

So yeah. My little dog is a bit thrown off. I am, too. She’s just communicating to me that she needs what we all need: a little more structure and consistency.

We’re just a little overwhelmed family doing our best, being patient when one of us messes up, and over-the-top celebrating when we get it right.

I’m Glad You’re Here

After years spent advocating for domestic violence victims while hiding my own suffering, I refuse to let anyone feel abandoned in their abuse or its aftermath.

Trauma sucks. Recovery shouldn’t. That’s why I’m making communicating about my own experiences as normal as possible while actively calling out abuse and inequity when I see it.

My aim is to give others a safe environment in which to develop these tools so we can start making some much-needed changes together.

Please support my continued writing (and help me inch my way toward my first book) by following and engaging with me on trauma and advocacy. I’d love to hear from you!

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Veronica Wren Trauma Recovery Book Club

The Creative Act: A Way of Being — Rick Rubin

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