Dagney’s Picture Dictionary of Slang

Hello, my name is Dagney. We’ve probably met before because Mom writes stories about me all the time. She never asked permission, but what can I say. Really, what can I say? I barked, grunted, and turned away at first, but eventually learned it is easier to just pose for the pictures. If I am to be honest, I like the attention.

As a pup, the camera flashed in my face at all hours of the day and night. Once, when I laid curled and comfortable in the overstuffed comforter on our bed, I heard Mom call my name in a sweet, coaxing way. I looked up to see what she had to offer, and she snapped this picture. She didn’t even have a treat in her hand. I felt so violated.

Now Mom has this bright idea to create a book of pictures. Honestly, I am quite impressed. With my mug, who wouldn’t want to browse the pages. Add to my awesomeness the opportunity to educate readers and share new vocabulary, and I must admit, she might be on to something.

When I was young, learning language was hard. When Mom said “sit” she meant stay. It took me a while to realize on walks I didn’t have to place my butt on the cold, hard sidewalk at every corner. She just wanted me to stay so those human tuna cans didn’t squish my remains for a buzzard sandwich.

Learning the basic commands was a breeze, but I enjoyed practicing. Each time I performed, I got a treat. I might be a dog, but I am not stupid. Treats, baby!

The idea for this book developed when Mom talked to her granddaughters on the phone. She still calls it a phone, but really, it’s a little TV called Alexa — so much more than a phone! Alexa is a voice controlled virtual assistant that possesses the ability to control every aspect of a human’s life.

My mom only uses this device to call the kids and play music. Well, actually I heard her once ask how many tablespoons are in 16 oz, and once she requested a joke. I still remember the joke. I laughed, but Mom didn’t find the humor.

Alexa asked, “What kind of dog can you get at the bakery?”

Answer — Pure bread!

Those grandkids talk strange but being a master of many languages, I understand when mom just looks confused. Recently, I’ve started a little project, a picture dictionary, that shares a definition using a pic of me and a short explanation. This helps Mom understand the new words kids use nowadays. I say words as a euphemism. They grunt noises and expect us to understand. Make up their own words, if you ask me.

Sometimes I see Mom reading the Urban Dictionary. I think she’ll like my version better. It looks like this.

Sharent

This is me when I first came home from the litter. Mom posted pictures every day on Facebook. Perfect example of a sharent (sharing + parent). If I wasn’t so darn cute back then, her friends might have ghosted her.

Ghosted

Dang, I just used one of their words. That’s what happens when a person is multi-lingual. This is a picture of me ghosting Mom to avoid going for a walk. I ghost her until she figures out I am not interested.

Day One

This is Kinsely, Mom’s granddaughter, and me when we first met. We were born the same month. She’s my day one.

Sus

Examine Dad’s face. He looks sus, suspicious. When I was younger, I didn’t understand that dogs were not allowed in stores, so I was chill, relaxed and going with the flow.

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I imagine you get the idea of how this book works. I’ve collected all the strange words the kids use, found a picture that demonstrates how to define the word, and then wrote a few words to help Mom understand.

I organized all the words into alphabetical order to create a dictionary of slang terms to help Mom communicate with the children. It’s been really helpful.

If you are a grandma or maybe just a person with younger friends, this might be helpful to you. If you love dogs, there is an added bonus of enjoying some cute pics of me — and some of my closest friends.

Here are a few more examples to test your knowledge and see if you need more of my knowledge. I am here for you, baby!

A Mood

There are days, the pressures of life are too much to handle. When I find myself in a mood, I find a quiet corner to be alone and destress.

Adorkable

Youth can be so lazy. They so often combine two words to make one. This is my cousin Juggernaut with his favorite squishy. For such a big dog, he is kind of a dork yet so adorable; he’s adorkable.

Adulting

Compared to me, Juggernaut is mammoth but so tender and loving. He has paternal instincts and loves children. This is him babysitting my day one.

All ears

This Winton, my cousin who lives with Mom’s other daughter. He loves to be a part of the action, so he sits nearby and listens to every conversation. When I want information, I just ask him. Don’t be confused, though he has large ears. This term does not refer to size but to the ability to consume information.

Amped up

Winston and Kinsley have grown up together. He makes her smile. If she is eating, he jumps enthusiastically, knowing Kins will give him some of her food. During dinner, they both get amped up.

Ate that

Juggernaut can do anything he puts his mind to. I am a little jealous of him, but sure love to watch him dance with his dad. He did a great job and found success performing the two-step. He ate that!

Attention whore

The first time Mom called me this, I almost cried because it sounded so mean. But then I will do anything for attention, so maybe she is right.

So, in an attempt to get as much attention as possible, I invite you to subscribe to Mom’s stories. This will allow access to my knowledge when Mom publishes the next segment of Dagney’s Picture Dictionary of Slang.

Check out Mom’ book all about me. As the main character, I promise you it is worth a look.

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