ALL MY KITTENS

A confused Wilburn wanders around Tahiti searching for his fancy five star hotel. His clothes are disheveled . He is still bleeding from the fight earlier. No one comes to his aid.

Tawny goes to the police station.

"May I help you?" an overweight soon to retire police officer asks as he completes some data entry work on his state of the art Commodore 64 computer.

"I hope that you can," Tawny says to the officer as he sneezes and coughs. "Do you have a fur ball? Or were you eating grass?"

"Neither I have a cold that I can't seem to shake."

"Trust me it sounds like more than a cold to me and I watch that syndicated talk show called The Doctors," Tawny tells. "It's my boyfriend. He is missing!"

Mitch's abnormal behavior continues to scare Josie as they hop on his Harley Davidson. He is looking around to ensure that no one is watching him.

"Hey Babe," Josie says. "Why are you so fudging paranoid?

"Darn, I am not paranoid," Mitch rants. "I just have a lot on my plate right now."

"Let's hope that our new tattoos will calm you down. You have nothing to worry about," Josie reassures in a soothing voice.

Over at the Hidden Valley Court House, Heidi remembers more about Mitch! I now know how I know that groom. He is a fugitive! He escaped from prison! My heart aches for that poor innocent girl that he just married. Didn't he murder someone," Heidi asks as she attempts to trigger her memory.

At Hidden Valley General Veterinary Hospital, Sable has had enough of the lame suggestions of fundraising ideas to save the free clinic.

"Why don't we have a bake sale," Althea Murphy suggests. "I could whip up some of my famous sweet potato pies. Everyone adores them."

"No," Sable replies. "I am the president of the board of this hospital. It is my way or the highway."

Veda begins to wave her paws in the air.

"Now Mother," Sable says. "Are you having some kind of a seizure? Or do you want to contribute something to this lame brainstorming meeting?"

"I have a suggestion," Veda asserts.

"Okay," Sable says as she dreads what her mother wishes to suggest.

"We should have a bachelor's auction. Allow me to tell all of you how this would work. We would recruit studs. And we would have single women bid on them. The highest winner will get at least one date. And if they're lucky perhaps some dessert after that first date," Veda chuckles as some of the prudish ladies on the board frown at her suggestions.

"Oh ladies! Please lighten up. Enjoy life a little . After all we only have nine lives to live. And my ninth life is almost over."

"Mother take your seat and please shup up," Sable demands.

"Althea, your sons Reagan and Quinn would be ideal for this event. They are smoking hot men!"

Althea doesn't comment on Veda's assertion.

"Your boys make my heart skip a few beats," Veda informs.

"Now Mother your heart skips a few beats because you refuse to go to the veterinarian to have your pacemaker checked! Now no more of your nonsense. You are embarrassing me!," Sable yells.

Midway through the meeting Sable's cell phone rings.

"Hello," Sable says.

"Hello Mother it is your son. You know, Alec?"

"Yes, Alec I know."

"Listen I am kind of crunched for time because I am performing a bypass, and my patient is coding. I have one quick question. Have you heard anything about Dad?"

"No, and I hope that I never will. Now do me a favor! Stop pestering me all the time. I'm busy," Sable says as she hangs up on her kit.

"Sable, who was that?" a curious Veda inquires.

"It was Alec calling again about his scumbag of a father."

"That's nice!," Althea observes. "My kits rarely check in on me."

"Oh I haven't shared the good news with all of you.," Sable reveals.

"We saved the clinic! Free health care for all low income cats. This is a miracle," Althea praises.

"No, my asshole of a husband is missing!" Sable informs as she smiles and Veda sighs.

"Oh, Sable I am so sorry," Althea comforts.

"Don't be sorry. I'm thrilled! I'm so excited! I feel like throwing a gala or something. I guess his girlfriend, who just finished kindergarten has no sense of direction."

Sable excuses herself for a moment. She walks out of the hospital to make a long distance phone call to her brother-in-law, her single brother-in-law, and her handsome brother-in-law, Raul. Sable has always been attracted to him.

"Hello," Raul says.

"Raul, handsome, this is your favorite sexy sister-in-law, Sable," Sable identifies.

"Is everything kosher in Hidden Valley?" Raul asks.

"How should I know? I'm Catholic."

"Oh Sable," Raul laughs. "I do appreciate your sense of humor."

"I've got some fantastic news. Your brother is missing! I hope they never find him."

Back in Tahiti at the police station, the mature officer requests a photograph of the missing Garson. Tawny places her paws in her pocket and removes a flimsy piece of notebook paper.

"I have this," Tawny says as she hands the piece of paper to the officer.

"I'm afraid that this won't help me locate your boyfriend."

"That eerie caricature artist on the corner said it would," Tawny tells.

"Miss this is a stick figure!"

"Gee whiz! I got scammed! He told me that he was competing in the summer Olympics, and that he needed funds to realize his potential."

"How much did you pay for this?" The officer demands to know."

"Five thousand dollars. I put it on my boyfriends American Express Card," Tawny explains as she notices that the credit card is missing too.

"Let me take another look at it. This stick figure is all wrinkled."

"I understand. Wilburn is all wrinkled up too. Some nights as we lay in each others arms after being intimate I play a little game that I recently developed called, connect the wrinkles," Tawny elaborates.

"That is right! He is missing! I told you that he is losing his mind. He is rarely lucid anymore. I've called an emergency meeting to discuss this matter. Someone must put Garson Industries first. I believe that I have blackmailed enough cats to gain their support and to gain total control of Garson Industries," a greedy and a power hungry Sable believes.

TUNE IN AGAIN TOMORROW FOR THE CONTINUING SAGA OF ALL MY KITTENS