ALL MY KITTENS

Wilburn bangs on the wrong door in the wrong hotel and he yells for the wrong lady.

"Sable, Sable, Sable let me in," he screams. "or Tawny or Krista or whatever the hell your name is. I will break down this door if I must."

At this time a maid walks down the hall and sees a distraught Wilburn.

"Sir the door to your room is unlocked," the maid tells.

"Oh thanks. I think that my lady is cross with me."

"Good luck," the maid says as she enters another room ready to clean it.

"Darling, I'm back," Wilburn exclaims to the wrong lady.

Meanwhile Tawny continues her search for Wilburn. She is still using

his high school yearbook photo in her effort to locate him. A desperate Tawny decides to call Alec on his cell phone.

Alec is at Hidden Valley General Veterinary Hospital performing a triple bypass on a high risk cardiac patient when he gets the call. The absent minded doctor forgot to turn his phone off before the surgery begins so answers the phone.

"Hello," Alec says as his peers in the operating room stare in disbelief.

"Who is this?" Alec asks.

"Alec this is your soon to be new mommy."

"Listen everyone take five. I must take this call."

"It is Tawny. I'm calling you from Tahiti."

Josie and Mitch arrive at a dingy looking apartment building near The Underground Night Club where they met.

"Josie my beautiful bride welcome home," Mitch says.

Josie shrugs. She is not used to living in such a run down structure. Mitch and Josie walk up three steep flights of stairs. When they reach the third floor, Mitch unlocks the door to a studio apartment. He gives her a tour.

"This is the eat-in kitchen," Mitch informs as he points to a rusted out hot plate. This efficiency apartment has no refrigerator just an old yellow Igloo Cooler with melting ice in it to keep the food fresh. There is no private litter box. It is down the hall.

"Josie we can bathe every single Tuesday and Thursday. If you have to use the box, you must call the manager of the building to schedule an appointment. And this is our bed," Mitch shows as he pulls down a n old murphy bed. As he pulls down the ancient bed a slew of rats and mice run out. There are also roaches all over the apartment.

The windows that do open require brand new ropes to be installed, but the slumlord who owns the property refuses to make upgrades. The water that comes out of the sink is murky looking. The sight of the murky water causes Josie to cringe.

"If you run the water long enough it looks okay to drink. I have no clue as to how it tastes. We can also boil the water on our state of the art hot plate.

Sable and the other members of The Hidden Valley General Veterinary Hospital Board arrive for an urgent meeting. Veda also joins the meeting. Veda has been volunteering at the hospital for decades.

"My fellow members of the board. I thank all of you for attending this meeting," Sable, the president of the board announces. We are meeting today because Concepts Medical Inc., the parent company of this hospital wants to shut the free clinic down because according to their financial people, the clinic is a white elephant. I am fine with their plan to shut the clinic down. I don't care about this clinic at all," Sable expresses.

"Sable how can you say this?" Althea Murphy, no relation to the bed in Josie and Vince's apartment, but the wife of Sinclair and the mother to Laurel cries. "So many cats who are poor need this clinic."

Sable hates it when anyone disagrees with her.

"Well allow me to tell you something. Althea, if these poor cats would get off of their asses and get an education, perhaps they wouldn't be poor."

"Sable that is no way to think."

The two ladies almost have an altercation. All of the other board members including Veda agree with Althea. Sable is livid.

"Tawny what do you need? I'm in the middle of performing a bypass here. What about Dad? Is he okay? Has he fallen ill?" Alec demands to know.

"No at least I don't think he is well. Wilburn is missing! And I need your help."

Mitch hands Josie a wrapped box. The box is wrapped in newspaper.

"Here my new wife is a present for you."

"Oh, Mitch you don't have to give me anything. I now have your love to keep me warm."

"Open it please I am anxious to see if you like it."

Josie opens the gift and discovers paper toilet seat colors. Are these the something blue that we should have had at our wedding she wonders.

"I realize that it isn't a romantic gift, but it is practical. Believe me you do not want to sit on a litterbox in this place without one of these."

"Thank you baby."

"Hey I have an amazing idea. Tomorrow we ought to get husband and wife tattoos ," Mitch suggests.

"I love this idea. I love your idea for so many reasons. The main reason being that my mother hates tattoos, and I hate my mother. So anything that makes her unhappy makes me ecstatic."

Mitch's bizarre behavior begins to concern Josie. She observes how he jumps every time a car passes by or whenever he hears paw steps in the hall. She shakes when he closes the windows, and shuts the damaged filthy venetian blinds, and when he locks the door. She wants to know why her new husband is behaving this way.

Wilburn walks over to the bed where the stranger woman is sleeping! He begins to shake her.

"Hey don't give me the silent treatment," he begs. "Are you still mad because it took me so long to run my little errand? And that we didn't get to go out for dinner? Why don't I call room service to get us something to eat? You must be starving. I know I am and you really must be especially because you are now eating for two."

Wilburn begins to kiss the strange woman on her ear and all over her neck. The scared cat releases a loud meow! Her beau hears it from the hall where he is getting ice from a machine. He rushes back to the room. He discovers Wilburn in bed with his girl!

"Hey scat! Scat you old fool."

"Tawny tell me are you cheating on me?" Wilburn demands.

"This is Doralee not Tawny," the man says as he claws and bites Wilburn in the face.

"Missing?" Alec freaks

"Yes! Don't fret I will find him. I am calling to get a picture of him. I'd prefer a current one if possible," Tawny requests.

"I don't have a current picture of him on me. I will call my mother."

Sable's cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Mother, Dad is missing in Tahiti."

Sable beams when she hears this news.

"We need a current picture of him."

"All I have is his kindergarten picture and his sonogram. He hates posing for pictures. And I hate looking at him. Your father breaks every camera he poses for. You should count your blessings that you inherited my looks and not his. Thanks for calling me with this excellent news. Instead of searching for him let's celebrate."

"Alec," Laurel says. 'The bypass patient needs you stat if we don't resume surgery he may die."

"Right," Alec says as he re-enters the operating room.

Now bleeding from his injuries, a very confused Wilburn wanders around Tahiti in search of his hotel.

Heidi, the witness to Josie and Mitch's wedding, can't seem to get Mitch off of her mind. She remembers now how she knows of Mitch. He is a fugitive!

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF THE CONTINUING SAGA OF ALL MY KITTENS