You have to Let Go Sometimes

I believe that the one quality that we humans, at least most of us haven't been able to develop or inculcate so far in our nature is acceptance. You will hardly find anyone accepting things the way they are, accepting the things that can't be changed, being okay with the incidents or accidents of the past, accepting the shortcomings and imperfections of the present, and the uncertainty of the future.

This is the only way by which we can transition ourselves from hatred, anger, guilt, disappointment, anxiety, stress, depression to love, pleasure, freedom, peace, joy, and happiness. All of these traits are present everywhere around us and within us, but the thing that will differentiate you from others is whether you accept the shortcomings and move on and fill your life with positiveness and happiness or you just choose to reject it and fill your life with misery and guilt.

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human. 

- Albert Ellis

Accept the imperfections

All of us are born with many pluses and minuses. We excel at certain things and we crumple at some. 

Does that mean that we should accept our shortcomings and move ahead? 

Yes, obviously accept it but try to make yourself better in that aspect of your life where you are lacking. When you accept and try to excel in something, you become better at learning that thing since you have acknowledged the fact that you are not good at that. And never consider that accepting something means accepting defeat. When you accept things the way they are, you don't lose but you learn from them. 

There are times in life when you feel that you can help your friend, relative, colleague, or maybe a stranger in overcoming his shortcomings or imperfections as you are good at that aspect. So, go ahead and help him but remember that with acceptance learning new things become easier. You feel very lightheaded after you have developed this quality of acceptance.

Consider your life, for example, you will find many instances where if only you would have accepted the outcome, your life would have been much better. 

You quarrel with your friend, relative, colleague, or stranger, and it's all a game of who wins or who dominates. Apparently, you may have won the argument but later on, both the parties will be in their own space of loneliness and depression and thinking about the damage that this row has caused. But do you even realize that if only one of you would have accepted the other person the way he/she is, accepted his views, this problem wouldn't have arisen in the first place? Now, when the damage is done, we are busily thinking about the other scenarios. 

At times we even fight with our near and dear ones. Often a normal discussion leads to a fight. In all of these cases, what is common is that one of us is always trying to dominate and prove our point. We don't even care if the other person is right or wrong or whether he/she is hurt or not but in the end, you just want to win. It's then that your ego has taken over and you have forgotten the lovely relationship that you share with the other person and you just want to prove that you are right. We don't even realize that this temporary happiness for which you were fighting all throughout may break you and all your relationships in the future. 

Remember always that considering other person views and accepting him/ her the way they are doesn't mean you have lost. It means you have overcome yourself and have emerged as the bigger version of yourself and nothing can defeat you unless you choose to.

You always have a choice

Life always gives you a choice. We can either be in a constant battle, trying to fight our true selves and focusing on our bad sides, trying to change the people around us, being unhappy with the way things turn out, etc.

Or, we can appreciate everyone - especially ourselves - for who they are, without judging. We can be alright and believe that things are perfect just the way they are in that exact moment. And - yes - they will be different in the next, but will still be perfect.

Following the second approach to life is a successful one and it will change your life forever. 

I think that the older we get, the more we start accepting everything and everyone around us. Because we see it's the only way to keep living without so much stress and overthinking.

Again I want to stress on the fact that I'm not saying stop trying to improve yourself. No, never but I would rather say that keep trying, always try to excel and help others to excel, test your limits, and always strive to achieve more.

But also, when it doesn't work, accept it and move on to the next thing. When you fail or make a crucial mistake, be okay with it. Accept it for the experience and lesson it is. And go do it better this time.

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I cannot accept not trying.

Learn to be OK with things

1. Be satisfied with the things you have.

Just see your lives and you will surely realize that you have more than enough. We take many things for granted, without even realizing that there are many in this world who don't even have the most basic of amenities and still they are happy and satisfied. So, focus on the things you have and be satisfied and happy.

2. Be content with it.

Be content with what you have got and appreciate it. Thank for it every morning and find time for the people in your life, the things you love doing, the opportunities that come your way, etc. Have that feeling of gratitude towards the people that have made difference in your life and now it's your time to make a difference in the lives of others.

3. Do not resist.

Much of our suffering comes from resisting our present experience and struggling with what already is. That resistance creates anxiety and frustration, and we find ourselves in a constant battle we are bound to lose. When we accept things as they are, when we let them unfold and go with the flow, we find peace.

4. Take responsibility.

Take responsibility for your life, situations, and relationships. Stop blaming other people, situations, and circumstances. In reality, blaming only results in more negativity, bitterness, frustration, resentment, and powerlessness. You must take ownership, whatever you are facing, you have played a critical role in it. Blaming others for it does not make any sense. You must take responsibility and accept it.

In short, you must master the art of acceptance to live a happy and peaceful life.

5. Don't avoid Reality.

Yes, we all have problems in our lives that we just want to wipe it off from our memory. And we find different ways to do that.

But even if you don't want to deal with them right away, you can still be okay with them, accept their existence. That's not as hard as it sounds.

Keeping them deep inside yourself is much worse and much more unhealthy for your mind and soul.

6. Forgive yourself.

In order to give yourself a chance to become a better version of yourself regardless of your past mistakes - you'll have to be compassionate.

Know that the past is gone, there's nothing you can do about it. And if you don't let go of it, together with all the burden it carries, you'll never be free to truly experience new things. If you can learn from your past mistakes, well and good but never carry the burden of it.

So be okay with who you've been before, even if you considered yourself a bad person, or not good enough. Let that be your starting line and move forward from here on.

7. Live in the Present.

We're always worried about our past, thinking about yesterday, or depressed about what tomorrow might bring. It appears that it's never as bad as we imagine it to be, though.

So try to stop every now and then. Take a deep breath, look around you and give yourself that precious five minutes and there is nothing in this world for which you can't get an answer in those few minutes. The Almighty has given you the brain to think, analyze, and use it when needed but most of the time we are busy using that brain for everything around you other than yourself.

That's what living in the present moment is all about. It brings clarity, calmness, and peace that can be found nowhere else but in this moment.

Enjoy each second and go with the flow.

In the end, I would like to leave you with these two wonderful quotes. Give it a thought.

Accept what is. Let go what was. Believe in what will be.

In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.

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