You Don't Know Yourself

When I was in my teenage years I relied heavily on my friends. I barely had my own opinions, beliefs, and interests. Very few things mattered to me. I found that when I was alone I was either in a bad mood, or numb. I didn't know which was worse. This caused me to struggle in school and at home. I had no goals or ambitions. 

When I turned 18 I moved out of my country and started learning about myself in ways that I didn't know was possible. I was regularly being moved to new places and meeting new people. I learned about my constant self. Although everything in my world changed with every setting and rising of the sun, I was always stuck with myself. I was the only constant in my life.

I'm not sure why it took me 18 years to find out that I would be stuck with myself. Maybe it was something I always knew but I didn't have to think about it because I relied so heavily on others. Through constant change, adversity, triumphs, and losses. I realized that the only way to feel happy for the long haul is by getting to know and learning to be happy with yourself. 

Getting to know yourself is a process. It doesn't happen in one day, I would argue that it never actually happens. In the sense that the process is never-ending. It's not a box on a checklist that can be filled and forgotten about. It's like solving a puzzle that every time you get close to finishing, it doubles in size. You thought you were almost done, but from your new point of view, it looks like you still have a few hours of work to do. 

Getting to know yourself isn't so that you can be by yourself forever. Finding close friends, family and eventually, someone who you can settle down with for the rest of your life is a way to add meaning to your life's works. Finding yourself is just one stepping stone in the long walk of self-fulfillment. 

It doesn't take moving out of your home country to find yourself. Anyone who searches can find who they are and what they stand for. You need to start asking yourself questions, doing some research, and reflecting on what you have learned until now. 

I have a friend who often reminds me that comfort is not a good place to be in, it's a bad guide. I've learned that this is true. It's okay to be comfortable, we want to be comfortable with ourselves, but we'll find the most self-growth during times of adversity. Action teaches us what we believe in and who we are much faster than words ever could. Words can be twisted and even meaningless. We often say things we don't mean or become confused when someone tells us something we don't want to hear. 

 I think growing up in a bubble where we have little chance of danger is a good thing. I don't see anything wrong with being comfortable, supported, and loved. 

At some point, that bubble has to pop. We have to experience everything for ourselves. We are humans, we're curious. We often don't learn from others' mistakes without making them first ourselves. 

Getting to know your constant self, is the best thing you can do for your overall happiness. We meet new people every day, they come and go. The person inside of your head isn't going anywhere, maybe you should ask them a few questions and see if they have something to share.