You are not a runner!

by Nikki Higgins 8 months ago in healing

Growing older does not mean becoming target practice in a sci-fi movie.

No one ever tells that one day you will wake up and you suddenly become 'target practice'. Please know that this new person you have transformed into will be not be a foreigner to those around you. Your loved ones will automatically recognize this new person, friends will greet them with open arms, lovers will touch them with familiarity. The only person who will be hesitant to bring this person into the fold will be you. See what had happened was you got older. Now allow me to quickly inform you that is all you did, you got older; you are not 'target practice'.

People around us keep tabs on our age. Our kids count the days till they can leave our parental guidance, our friends tally who is the youngest in the group, and lovers marvel that we are still around (go figure). For women this “change” is rudely pushed in our faces on a consistent basis. Social media, movies, TV shows, clothing, food, medicine, beauty products, shopping, sex, and even the topic of death for women is a constantly reminder that they are not the same person especially at a certain age. What is worse and definitely horrifying, is that other women partake in this barrage of let’s remind her that she is older and therefore should made to float around and be shot at. I wish I was being hyperbolic.

Okay, the bias perspective that I've been withholding is that I am turning 48 this year. I am amazed by the sense of joy some people around me take in reminding I am not 28. I can hear the giddiness in their voice when making snide remarks with the instant look of pleasure or relief that it is not them. This phase of life reminds me of the movie Logan’s Run (the 70s' version not that weird Justin Timberlake remake) where you turn 30 and oops you are a dead man walking. I have always been perceived as being older but actual age maturing has never been focus. I always had younger boyfriends and a thing for boy bands but aging has never been an impactful factor in my life.

Yet here we are, older, everyone reminding me as if I didn’t know. Yes, I am expecting another grand baby in the spring (the best part of getting older, it’s like rent-a-baby), my gray hair is winning the war on hair dye, and my body changed but NAY I SAY! I am supposed to get older because I am alive dammit! That does not mean there is a circular indicator light in my hand that is glowing (shot out to Logan’s Run again). My gripe is that our society has it completely backwards. We should celebrate getting older and value it because that is the natural progression of life.

Being young is cool, it’s alright (while I remember every mistake, dumb decision, or crazy act I ever did) but I like the “older” me. She is fun and exciting; I never know what she will get into but I know she can afford it. She thinks before she acts and has great sex because she knows what she likes. I also like that she scares people because she is strong, confident, with unnerving determination. My recommendation to all that are getting older is to enjoy the journey, appreciate the process, and understand that NO you are not a runner or target practice; just get out of the city and walk beyond the walls - (again shout out to Logan’s Run).

healing
Nikki Higgins
Nikki Higgins
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Nikki Higgins
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