Xen's Declassified 20s Survival Guide
In Your 20s, You Need A Native Guide
At one point we were all wearing diapers, still figuring out how to train our tongue to wrap around the word "mommy," and "daddy." At one point we were being coddled and we didn't understand what boundaries were. At one point we all blinked for too long and by the time we opened our eyes again we were pushed out into the real world (whatever that means) with sensitive bodies, overwhelmed minds, and plates filled with responsibilities and expectations. We're not babies anymore.
You are cordially invited to your 20s. A life filled with Netflix shows, finally learning about taxes, back problems and truly figuring out just how dysfunctional your family actually is. No, there isn't refund, but trust me. This is an important party to attend.
My 20s just started and if the last 2 years is a taste of what I can expect for the next 8 years... well, this party is going to be a blowout. This is a list things of that I'm learning/learned and hopefully it will help you too.
In the next 8 years, I may learn some new words, meet some new people, and learn some new lessons. This list may a look a little different and hopefully it will help then too.
Are you ready? I'm 100% this is a party w'ere not going to forget.
Don’t Sprint Before You Stretch
Slow down. I mean it. This is a luxury to so many and sometimes slowing down only looks like 5 minutes. Do it anyways. You're not the only one feeling like time is running out. You're not the only one who feels stuck. Those feelings are valid. Take time to acknowledge them. Take time to acknowledge that you have time! Something great is worth the wait to make it great. Not everything needs to be figured out at this exact moment. This is easier said than done.
You may still have one of those nights where you feel the weight of the world's expectations on your shoulders. One of those nights where your chest feels tight and your head feels like it's going to explode. That may happen, but one day you'll wake up feeling light, feeling okay. That day will come. Don't rush a good day.
Mistakes Don’t Stop Because You Turn 20
When we were all younger, still having to look up to talk to most people and still needing our parent's signed permission to do most things; our parents seemed like they had everything figured out. Teachers seemed like they knew everything in the world and doctors were all geniuses. Perfection seemed like a tangible thing. Until it didn't.
The truth is life is messy. A road built out of pot holes. The future is uncertain and decisions have consequences. We're bound to make mistakes. We're bound to trip, stumble, and fall. We're bound to get new bruises and new cuts. We may have already had our physical growth spurts, but our mental ones will always keep growing. Growing pains are inevitable. So, give yourself a break and if that means breakdown, do it. Learn from those wounds and maybe, next time, you will have a band-aid ready.
Be Here For A Good Time and A Long Time
Ever since Drake borrowed a quote from a George Strait song, "I'm here for a good time, not a long time," people gained a new caption for their photos, a new tweet, and for many a new outlook on life.
I’m here for a good time, not a long time, you know I
I haven’t had a good time in a long time, you know I
I’m way up, I feel blessed
Hustlers found a new motto. My motto is I'm here for a good time and a long time. I don't want to wait till I'm in 40s to finally life. There's nothing wrong with that, but why put off something I can be doing right now. I don't want to wait to see the world. This is another luxury that many people don't have. However, seeing the world may not require a plane or car. Maybe it just takes a bus or walk to explore your city, your state. Look up weird facts about your hometown. Find a hidden gem. This place you call home is a part of this world. Start there.
Listen To Your Gut
Your gut is more than a place that stores organs and holds food. Your gut has a voice, but a lot of time your heart and your mind may be arguing too loud for you to even hear your gut. Your gut's voice get lost between logic's assertiveness and emotion's passion, forced to be overlooked. Yeah, that's your gut feeling.
Some of The Things Your Gut May Be Trying To Tell You:
- Don't trust this person
- You're feeling nervous/anxious
- This place feels like home
- This person feels like home
- Trust yourself
- You've made the right choice for you
It takes time and patience to dig through the mess your heart and your head made. It's going to take time to give your gut some volume. Trusting anyone including yourself is hard, but it's worth it.
“Date Yourself” is a corny truth. Now, I don't mean you have to delete tinder and swear-off romantic relationships. Dating yourself is a forever thing. It means to spend time with yourself, study yourself, learn about yourself, challenge yourself, be intimate with yourself, be vulnerable with yourself.
No matter how long you've been alive, there is always something new to learn about yourself. One of the tragic beauties about being human is that we're constantly changing, constantly growing. New people, new environment, new problems, new you.
Don't be afraid to dig deep. Just like the galaxy, there are parts of you that haven't been discovered yet. It's scary and intimidating. Dating usually is.