Write to Relax

Throughout my life, I always wanted to keep a diary. I tried—and failed—many times. I pledged to write "Dear Diary" every day. Before going to sleep each night, I wanted to lounge across my bed and fill the pages with confessions like some school girl does in a teen fiction book or a TV series. I even made it a New Years Resolution several times.

But when I would sit down to actually do it, looking at that blank page, I would find myself at a loss as to what I should write about. In my youth, many days were the same, especially when I was in school. Nothing seemed important enough to log on paper, especially each and every day. So, the words wouldn't come and the days slipped by. I would get frustrated with myself, and I would eventually give up.

That changed a few years ago when I turned 40. I was out of town for work and found myself sitting in a hotel room with nothing to do. I had a blank notebook with me so I took it out and just started writing. I found it to be very therapeutic just to put thoughts on paper. So, I kept at it. I filled three 80-page notebooks that first year!

I realized I kept giving up all those years ago because I felt like my writing needed to mean something to someone else, when it really didn't have to mean anything at all. Not even to me. And I didn't have to write daily confessions at all. Once I threw any expectations out the window, the pages began to fill up.

I've been a writer for a very long time. I'm a published author. I've written short stories, poems, reviews, and books. I've kept a blog for fifteen years. So professional and presentable writing is in my blood. I'm always thinking about my readers—except for when it comes to my journal. That's just for me. It's how I unpack my brain and declutter what I'm thinking. And it's a great way to relax.

Here are some tips to help you get started with using journaling as a way to relax:

• Treat yourself to a nice journal or notebook and a couple of your favorite ink pens. Who doesn't love to shop for nice stationery?! Pick up some stickers or colorful markers too.
• Remember you don't have to write every day. Avoid setting goals if you know you are just going to break them or get mad at yourself for not following through. If you are good with keeping to a schedule, set a time each day to focus on your journal even if it's just five minutes before bed.
• Don't always focus on writing down what you did for the day. Some days are going to be better than others. Make lists - books you want to read, movies you want to watch, favorite restaurants, favorite memories, favorite foods. Grab your markers and do some doodling. Write a letter to an ancestor. Work on a short story or a poem.
• Get creative! You can fill the pages however you like. Clip pictures you like from magazines and put them in your journal. Tape birthday and Christmas cards inside. Press flowers or leaves in it. Collect quotes that inspire you.
• Write in different places - in the bathtub, in the car on your lunch break, at the park, in the backyard, in a cemetery, at the library, at the beach. Change your scenery what you write about will change too!
• Don't worry about being perfect. It's okay to scratch out sentences. It's okay to misspell words. Don't get mad and start ripping out pages. Just turn the page and start over. A clean, fresh start is just a page away.
• Don't fret over yesterday's posts. Be done with them. It's okay to add to them, but don't edit them. Don't rip them out and throw them away. Just keep moving forward. I don't even read most of my old posts until months later.

I only make two resolutions at the beginning of each year—read a lot of books and write in my journal as much as I can. Both of those activities give me great satisfaction and help me to relax. I start each new year with a new journal. I don't race to see how many journals I can fill up in a year's time. And I don't write in it every day. In other words, I don't stress about it. It's supposed to be relaxing, and what's most important is that you make time to do it.

Make time to write; make time to relax.