Write Like a 5-Yr Old

A couple of years ago I was in the bank passing some paperwork through to the teller. She looked at my writing and signature, looked at me, paused and held her gaze for a moment. Then said, “You write like a 5-yr old.”

“Thanks. I don’t remember practicing cursive until I was seven, but thanks.”

“The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.” — John Cleese

Essential Tremor is a nervous system disorder. Sometimes called kinetic tremor. Also, once known as familial tremor as it is a genetic condition. Thanks mom. It started with the occasional shaking in my right hand — writing, holding a glass — my dominant hand. When it one day happened in my left hand, fark, off to a specialist.

Diagnosed and then got on with living. My diagnosis was nine years ago (I’m 54 now) and have been able to live with it without needing to ride the medicinal carousel to find what works. Stress and fatigue play their part, and both are manageable. Essential tremor isn’t Parkinson’s disease. Essentials shake when in motion. Parkies shake when at rest. Both are degenerative conditions, but ET is far less sinister.

I’m lucky. I can function, as is.

So occasionally my hands shake. And just for added fun, I occasionally lose my balance. When I do, I stumble to my left. But ET predominantly shows itself when I’m writing, trying to be neat and legible or staying within the boxes. My once near-Victorian penmanship that nearly matched my mom’s handwriting now looks worse than dad’s (sorry dad). Since I have trouble making clean lines and staying within the boundaries, I don’t. Bugger it. Let my writing fly.

I still write by hand. It’s my preferred way to jot ideas, scribble and re-arrange. But when re-reading my notes, no one can decipher them. Not even me.

But it has taught me something. It’s taught me to let fly. I no longer care if others can read my notes. If I concentrate on the physical act of writing, my output suffers. If I relax my hold on the pen, settle my mind, my output flows.

“The real you is still a little child who never grew up.” — Don Miguel Ruiz

By letting fly, I stumble on more ideas. Better word choices. Gives me more to edit. It’s improved my writing because since I write like a child, I find myself writing like a child — in awe of everything in the world. Reminds me to look at the world differently. And that can be magic.

Like a child, just play and have fun. Use every crayon in the box.

The young have youth. The old have experience and workarounds. You learn what’s important and what’s not. You care less what others think. You reduce the filters you created as you became an adult.

And in the end, all these words get typed, anyway. My condition has changed little in the past nine years, but no one knows the future. Maybe I’ll move to using dictation software (just another option in the bank for later). I’ll continue to write.

And speaking of bank, I changed banks too.

Story update:

My fear of falling has increased in recent months. Before the pandemic limited our movement and freedoms, I was exercising more - out cycling, swimming and dancing. Dancing in particular I used to stretch and work on my balance. After nearly 2 years without a few of those things, my balance has faltered. I stumble to one side, lose my balance more often.

I know falls are a common downfall (pun intended) of older people and while many worry more about cancer, heart attack or stroke, I worry about falling. I've seen it happen to close loved ones.

Maybe this disorder is degenerating, maybe I'll get some of it back as life returns to normal and I get off my butt more. Who knows. You might read another update from me in the coming months...