Wish Me Luck

Well, that didn't last long.

The chaos dulled as the last school term of 2021 finally, sluggishly drew to a desperate close. Breathing a long, shaky sigh of relief, I promised myself I would not do any more work until after Christmas. I promised this with the knowledge that a few days of rest after this completely nonsense year was well deserved and by no means too much to ask. When I made this solemn vow, I meant it with all of my heart and, I swear, I believed I would stay true to my word...I was wrong.

0 days, 5 hours and 34 minutes. That's how long it took for me to betray my own resolution and fall ever so swiftly back into my all too well known habits of working myself into the ground for this increasingly time consuming career.

As I sat back, enjoying my night of fun and relaxation as I engaged in tabletop RPG play with my friends (online at the time), I felt the subtle but ever growing and ever burning desire to do just a little while the kids were in bed. I hadn't realised just how ingrained the habit of engaging in unpaid overtime had become until the documents opened in a separate tab on my screen and started typing away to join my work and play time in a multitasking fiasco.

Somehow this incessant need to fill every semi available moment with work had crept into my life little by little out of sheer necessity. It is impossible to do my job well without taking additional time out of my life to dedicate to the millions of extra little things there's simply no time to do during the paid work day.

I first noticed it when I took my children to their friend's birthday party. I had my laptop in tow and as they played in line of sight, I marked assessment tasks. As time went on, every night called for hours more work after the children were in bed. More time was always required for resource creation, lesson planning, data entry, study, report writing...always more. I remember in the previous holidays making phone calls to parents and taking the children through an assessment task, step by step, once again. It all seemed at least a little normal with the year still ongoing, but when it happened again as something of a compulsion during that D&D game I knew it had gone too far.

I'm not sure how to break this addiction to being the best teacher I possibly can, but I do know that somehow I must find a way to also prioritise rest. That will be my New Year's resolution for 2022, to find realistic, effective options for self care in my crazy teacher lifestyle and put them into practice with consistent and unwavering resolve.

I'll let you in on what I have so far:

1) Start each morning with a note of gratitude

2) Engage in meditative breathing for just 2 minutes every day

3) Close the laptop by 10pm at the latest - no matter what!

4) Spend quality time with each of my children and my husband daily

5) Keep an eye out for new, realistic self care options

I understand these may not seem like particularly revolutionary options, but to one with so little practice at rest I guarantee this New Year's list is the Holy Grail. I look forward to allowing myself that little bit of extra breathing room in the New Year. After the year we've all had, recovery and reconnecting with loved ones is all too important. These are the things this resolution will bring into my life and I vow here and now I will do all I can to stick to it this time.

Wish me luck.