Wick or Fuse

The inspiration for this narrative comes from a very unusual source – a dream. It was not your typical run-of-the-mill dream where you assemble fragments to remember it. No, this was a vivid dream ̶ if in fact a dream at all: Patsy Ramsey, the now-deceased mother of Jon Benet, a six-year-old murdered in her Boulder home on Christmas day 1996, had visited me. I never met Mrs. Ramsey. Like many others, I knew her only through news reports, photographs, and reading the Ramsey story. I remember at the time wondering what had happened to the talented and beautiful little girl whose whole life was ahead of her. I also remember that the police did not seem remotely interested in any other suspects than her parents. Instead, they fed the media, whose job in turn was to convince the public that the Ramseys were guilty. Years later, many still try to justify their rush to judgment by maintaining the Ramseys’ guilt. It is how we soothe our conscience – rather than admit we are wrong. In an astonishing, almost unprecedented move, in 2008, two years after Patsy Ramsey died from cancer ̶ and possibly a broken heart ̶ the Boulder District Attorney sent John Ramsey a letter exonerating his family. Apparently, new DNA evidence had ruled out the family and implicated an unknown person.

This narrative however is not about the Ramsey story. It is, however, a look at how things happen around us, or to us, and the role each of us plays when good or evil occurs. It is a call-to-action narrative that begins by provoking thoughts and emotions. It points out what we can do if . . . we so choose.

During my dream, the apparition of Mrs. Ramsey stood at the foot of my bed, looked at me, and asked, “Would you rather be the wick or the fuse?”

I felt confused and responded, “I don’t understand.” The dream ended, without any response. The experience was so profound, it prompted me to write the minute I climbed out of bed. I began typing and did not cease until the words ran their course. Whether inspired by external forces or merely repressed thoughts, the words and ideas flowed as though a breach in my brain had occurred.

Propelled by a sense of urgency to articulate and memorialize the message, Wick or Fuse was born.

Candles are incredible sources of light. Through capillary action their wicks, much like a dry paper towel, absorb the liquid wax and move it upward toward the flame. People light them to create a calming atmosphere. Some light them to evoke the sacred. When we celebrate and want to create a good mood, we light candles.

A fuse is a burning device that communicates fire to fireworks – like detonating a bomb. There is no positive association with the word “fuse.” Indeed, we use it to describe people who are quick to anger. Lighting a fuse leads to destruction.

Humans have the incredible ability to serve either as a wick or as a fuse. When we function like wicks, we illuminate the world around us. We absorb our inner energy of love, kindness, and all that is good about us and direct this positive energy toward others, creating light and peace. We make a conscious decision to take action. To offer hope to our world or perhaps add a little more kindness, we give of our time and ourselves.

When we approach the world around us with anger and malice, we function like a fuse. We use this malevolent energy to communicate fire, seeking to ignite the destruction of others ̶ wittingly or unwittingly. Like the fuse, we hiss, yet move along passively. It is the antithesis of creativity because we expend our energy on destruction. Rather than act, we rant, we blame, and we expect others to do something for us. Perhaps we merely participate in innocuous gossip. We hear something on the news and believe it to be true; we then speak with others as though we are giving a firsthand, eyewitness account. Yet even our most minor of utterances can wreak mayhem beyond our imagination. We become part of the fuse, collectively hurtling toward the darkness in humanity.

It is not surprising then that Patsy Ramsey, whose child was murdered and who suffered torment under the veil of suspicion, would ask, “Would you rather be the wick or the fuse?”

When one candle is illuminated, there is no darkness. One candle has the potential to light an endless number of other candles. Light a candle. One tiny flame produces 360° (degrees) of light perceived by the human eye. We too can produce a similar effect ̶ an effect that illuminates the world around us. Like a tiny birthday candle, even the smallest of efforts produces light. Each incremental effort produces extraordinary disproportional results. There is no shortage of things each of us can do to positively change the world around us. There are many things we have, do, or say that we take for granted every day. Within each of these, we can discover greater understanding and purpose. Regardless of whether a charity or cause appeals to you, believe enough that you will make a difference. One small step at a time leads to the journey of your life ̶ and the ripple effect of your presence.

Perhaps we cannot bring about the grandiose change we admire in legends, yet we can still bring about change. It may not affect the world, but for one person it might make all the difference. Although Patsy Ramsey has long since left this earthly plain; her simple message leaves a ripple effect which transcends time.

It does not require a Herculean effort to merely ask yourself: which will I be, the wick or the fuse?