Why Prioritizing Yourself Is the Best Thing You Can Do for Yourself and Others

Have you ever asked yourself, “What is the best possible thing I could do for myself?” Have you ever felt the feeling of putting yourself before all others, of making yourself the single most important thing in your life? Think about it, what can you possibly offer anyone else if you are not taking care of yourself first? Do you sacrifice yourself for others? Give things that you don’t have to give, or try to help people out of some false sense of obligation?

One thing I see more often than anything else is how people focus on another more than themselves. They put someone else’s needs, wants, and desires above their own. This behavior has consequences and can create an inner environment of not feeling important, worthy, or valuable. Being focused on another, a partner for example, takes the attention off the self. It causes you to analyze and can also lead to resentments and unrealistic expectations. Everything they do becomes a focus point but, in reality we should all be focused on our own behavior, understanding ourselves, and setting our own expectations for ourselves. What do we really have to offer anyone else if we’re not taken care of? If we don’t take responsibility for meeting our own needs and desires, what can we possibly give anyone else? It is not any other person’s responsibility to make us happy, but so often we put that on a partner or a friend. We like to feel like we’re so close to someone else, like we intimately know or understand them, but honestly, how can we do this if we’re not even close with who we are?

How many people do you know that are afraid to look inside themselves? Are you one of those people? Do you feel like there is something so scary inside you that opening that door could ultimately lead to something terrible? Are you afraid of who you are? If you are one of the millions of people who feels afraid to dig into themselves let me ask you this:

Is there anything you could open inside yourself that you haven’t already survived in reality?

The answer is no. You are quite literally only a collection of experiences, of memories. Yes, there may be some things you wouldn’t want to experience a second time but, if they are holding you back or preventing growth, wouldn’t they be worth working through so that you can open yourself up to happier, healthier, more beneficial experience? Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that it will be easy, I’m not saying that it won’t be uncomfortable at times. Is anything worth doing ever easy?

First, let me explain just a couple of the benefits you will reap by learning to put yourself first, then we can go into a couple of steps that you can take today to begin doing this!

1. Your physical Health will Improve—As you begin to work through your own person issues you will start to feel healthier, more energetic, and more motivated. You will feel more in touch with yourself and understanding your goals and what drives you, what makes you happy.
2. Your Romantic Relationships Will Improve—As you begin to learn to focus on yourself you begin to take the attention off your partner. You will no longer be analyzing every single little statement or behavior because you’re too focused on your own. You start to lighten up—as you learn it’s your responsibility to cultivate your own happiness, you no longer put that expectation on another. As a result, you will get along better and ultimately have more fun as a team.
3. Your Friends and Family will benefit—The people closest to you know more about you than you may imagine. They can feel your energy when you’re in the room, they know when you’re foggy or mentally distracted. They can feel when you are only physically present and mentally somewhere else. When you focus on yourself, you are so much more present in all your physical interactions. You have learned who you are and you’re no longer focused on making others happy or trying to please or help someone else. You become more focused in your moment and this allows your full self to show up when you spend time with others.
4. You Smile more and Begin to feel Genuine Happiness—When you have put yourself first and take responsibility for your own self and your own needs, your entire life energy begins to rise. You have more to offer and become a joy to be around. The energy that you have freed up can then be given to others around you. Therefore, some people can “light up a room” just by entering. You are able to offer more to others by showing up for yourself first! Essentially, it will make the difference between sacrificing for another and giving in abundance.

As we continue, it becomes even more clear all the benefits to making yourself a priority. Now let’s look at some of the ways that we can all begin give the gift of self-fulfillment: Start by making a list of all the things that make you happy. This could be as simple as a walk in the woods or petting your dog. Nothing is too simple or too complex. Just take the time to sit and ask yourself, “What brings me joy?” Write down the first few that pop into your mind and ask yourself when was the last time you did any of these? Spending time alone will become increasingly more important.

You will want to separate yourself from any outside influence. Be careful not to list things you do that makes others happy, this is self-defeating. If you have trouble thinking of things to put on the list go take a walk, get outside, maybe spend some time in the woods. Breathe deep and ask yourself again. What brings you joy, what makes you smile, what would you just love to go do? Choose one and then make time to do it! It really is that simple.

Now, many people feel guilty when they have to put others on the back burner to focus on their own needs. Unfortunately, there isn’t any process I can give you to avoid this. The guilt will begin to dissipate as you realize that the better you feel about yourself, the more that you take the time to take care of yourself, the better you will feel, and the more you will be able to offer to others. It’s only when you put others above yourself that you exhaust yourself; when you have made sure that you’re taken care of you have more energy, time, and ability to help those around you. Making yourself a priority is the best way to benefit those that you care about.

Do you agree or disagree? Why?