Why Are We Obsessed With Cozy?

Why Are We Obsessed With Cozy?

Soft, fluffy blankets, candles, and mood lighting. Articles on how to create the perfect cozy space are everywhere. But how do we obtain warmth, contentment, comfort, and intimacy as promised by this concept? Do we need softer blankets, more candles, dimmer lights—or is there something else missing?

Blankets cannot hug you, candles can start fires, and when the lights are too low you are more likely to stub your toe.

If it is not the objects that create the concept of cozy--how can we achieve it?

What Cozy Is Not

A year ago, I thought that in order to capture the feeling of cozy I needed to paint the walls, pick out soft luxurious sheets, velvet throws, fluffy pillows, and the perfect reclaimed wood furniture. But the room felt even colder when it was complete.

There were not enough soft, fluffy blankets or flickering candles to fill the uncomfortable space.

The bed was too big and too hard. Instead of feeling more intimate, it felt like I was miles away, alone and cold. It was the opposite of every feeling that I had hoped to evoke in this new space.

It Starts With a Feeling

Merriam-Webster defines cozy as

1a: enjoying or affording warmth and ease b: marked by or providing contentment or comfort 2a: marked by the intimacy of the family or a close group

This definition does not conjure images of being wrapped in warm blankets. Instead it elicits feelings of being close to loved ones who provide warmth, comfort, and intimacy. It is a small child wrapped in their parents arms. It is lying so close to your partner that their body provides you with warmth and a feeling of connection. It is a friend embracing you during a difficult time to ease your mind.

The Feeling Puts Your Mind at Ease

Finding the perfect spot for the new candle to burn its black smoke into the air may seem like the key to making your life more cozy. But it is not the smell of vanilla or the flicker of the flame that will put your mind at ease. It is having a place where you can be yourself.

Cozy is the place where you feel safe to burn softly like a candle or rage like a forest fire.

It is impossible to have a cozy space that is not safe.

A place where you can love, struggle, grow, breathe, play, and everything in between. Sometimes it can be found with a person, sometimes it is a specific place, and sometimes it is within ourselves.

One of my favorite cozy places is the cemetery where my dad is buried. When life feels overwhelming and out of control, I go the cemetery and lie in the grass next to where he is buried. I tell him everything on my mind. It is a safe place where I am able to be honest and myself. It a place that offers me comfort and eases my mind.

It Creates a Memory

When you think of cozy, what comes to your mind? Is it a fluffy blanket? A fireplace crackling in dim light? Think a bit harder now. Is it just a blanket or just a fireplace? Or is it cuddling with your partner under a fluffy blanket on a Saturday morning or sitting with your Grandfather by the fireplace?

Cozy is a memory of something that has brought us warmth, comfort and intimacy.

This is my favorite part of cozy. We have the ability to create and define cozy within our own lives. Cozy for one individual may be the classic image of cuddling under fluffy blankets while the firelight dances in the darkness. But just because you do not possess the right amount of natural wood, warm colors, rugs, and lightning does not mean that you cannot have cozy in your life.

Reinventing Cozy

I have spent hours, days, and weeks working on creating a new cozy space. It is filled with warmth, it puts my mind at ease, provides comfort, and is close to the important people in my life. My new favorite cozy space is reimagined and has been remodeled. This year I realized that cozy cannot be found in soft, fluffy blankets, candles, and mood lighting.

Cozy is a feeling, where my mind is at ease, and it creates a memory that can be replayed over and over again.

For me, my favorite cozy space is the feeling of being close to someone I love in darkness or light, on concrete or feathers, and feeling their warmth and letting the comfort of their presence ease my mind.

It is a reprieve to the cold, bathroom floors that once held my number one spot as cozy.

I am obsessed with my new cozy. Let the fluffy blankets burn.

Footnote: cozy. 2021. In Merriam-Webster.com. Retrieved January 12th, 2021, from https://www.merriam webster.com/dictionary/cozy