Who are you, really?

After high school, I worked two jobs in the summer -- I was an entry writer by data and a waitress at a sushi restaurant by night. Soon, I entered college where I took vigorous classes and held positions within various organizations. When second semester came around and I felt like I hadn't taken on enough, I joined ten different organizations. Clearly, I've always had the tendency to stay busy, sometimes to the point that I feel overwhelmed.

None of us saw this pandemic happening. Summer plans may have shifted for a change of plans or a family emergency, but a global pandemic was the last thing we expected. Millions of families have struggled during these uncertain times and I've done what I can to help them.

I'm incredibly lucky to have parents who support me financially and mentally as we isolate ourselves from the world. I've found it to be an entirely different way of life than my pre-pandemic self experienced. I have become the kind of person that wakes up early to workout, eats clean because it feels good, and prioritizes self-care. This era has also allowed me to begin a journey of self-discovery, something I realized I never partook in. I've taken up cooking, sewing, skateboarding, and reading, things never took the time to try to learn when I had free time.

When the lockdown in my area lifted, my parents still required that we stay isolated, as we don't know where others have been. I expected to feel cut-off, deprived, and stripped of contact from my friends and their fun. But I was fine. In fact, it's been a while since I've been this happy.

In part, this unexpected happiness was due to learning who I am without any outside influence. I've spent my entire life basing my words, my actions, and decisions on other people's opinions. Isolation made me care less about what others thought of me and allowed me to find what was truly good for me. I never picked up yoga because I didn't want people thinking I was a "hippie." Now I practice at least 10 minutes daily. I hesitated to wear anything outside of my usual shorts and T-shirt because I felt other people would think I was "trying too hard." Now, I've found new meaning in "dressing for myself."

Although I'm 19 years late in my journey to realize my passions, my hobbies, and what it is I really enjoy doing, I'd like to document it through this blog. Hopefully, I can help others realize that they, too, can change their view on themselves and the world around them. As I write about the new things I try, the new habits I pick up, and the books I read, I hope to better gauge where it is I want to go in life, what I want to accomplish, and whom I can help.

2020 has been hard for many people in varying degrees. Obviously, I haven't gone through what several families faced as the economy plummeted. I haven't suffered like the people across the world, although I've spread awareness and donated. But if we can even find a slight glimmer of a silver lining in all the hardships we endure, there's no telling what we can do.