Motivation logo

‘What If’: How To Eliminate The Emotional Doubts You Have in Your Life

Does ‘What If’ really exists, or is it our imagination to not do anything we actually want to do?

By Agnes LaurensPublished 4 years ago 6 min read
Like
‘What If’: How To Eliminate The Emotional Doubts You Have in Your Life
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

We doubt ourselves a lot in life. The most common question that we ask ourselves is ‘What if’, and name it what that ‘What if’ might be. Things that could be you’re doubting differs from person to person, but that ‘What if’ stays on your mind every time you are doing what obligates you.

What if I can’t write that piece about the past because it hurts too much?

What if I can’t play that violin sonata I desperately want to play?

What if I am going alone to walk through the woods?

What if the president isn’t going to do what he has promised?

What if I fall off the mountain when I walk there?

What if the bottle falls out of my hands?

What if I throw up again?

What if I don’t wake up on time for work?

You see, there are so many doubts in your life, you are asking these questions yourself. You let your fear speak for yourself. I am there too. I have doubts too. That is ok, that is being a human being, but don’t let that fear guide you through your life.

Will you ever have done what you really want to do?

Do you really do what you love to do?

Are you going to play that sonata?

Are you going to vote for the president you think is best for your country?

Are you going to eat your favorite fruit again after throwing up in childhood?

Are you going to wake up on time and set your alarm?

Are you going to play that violin sonata?

When I wanted to play the violin sonata by Cesar Franck, I was afraid I was going to ruining that sonata by playing it badly. But I just started playing that sonata.

And you know what? It helped me to understand a part of life too. It helped me understand that I have to try and just do it. When I don’t do it, it never brings me where I want to be with this sonata.

When I don’t just write, then I don’t understand what life is. When I write, I understand what I think, how I think, how I write my thoughts onto paper, and how I could say what I think.

I love going to the woods but I am really afraid to go alone. I am afraid just because of the fact that someone could tackle me kidnap me. Then I can’t go back to my family. That is the fear I always get. I am not over this fear yet, but together with my family, I love to go to the woods. Eventually, I will overcome this fear, but I am not ready yet.

Since I wake up between 5 and 6 am I feel so much better in being productive. Sometimes — especially with this heat — I don’t wake up that early as it is too warm in the evening to go to bed that early, and I am going to bed very late.

There are things you can do to stop the emotional doubts we have in life. These ‘What if’s’ are doubts you can do something about in your life. You have the skills, but the fear is still there, the results are you don’t do what you love, because there is a trigger that says you can’t do it. The truth is, you can, but you won’t as you see hundreds of bears on the road.

Face the problem where you are afraid to do

Say the problem to yourself

Show your fears to yourself by writing them in a diary

Write down what you want to keep and what you want to change

Make a plan for how you want to tackle these fears

Face the problem where you are afraid to do

What happens when you face the problem? You know you have to, but you won’t. It is because you have to get out of your comfort zone. And that is what we don’t want to, right?

It helps you tackle the problem. When you know the problem and where it comes from, the better you can resolve the cause. You know now where it comes from and you also feel relieved when you know where it comes from. One thing you can check off your list.

Say the problem to yourself

Say out loud — preferably a few times to acknowledge it to yourself — the problem you have and how you wish to solve the problem. The more you admit it, the more you can live with it, and the more you can do something about the issue you have.

Let’s say you have a problem with planning your day, then you have to say to yourself ‘I want to learn to plan my day’. Keep it positive.

Don’t say ‘I can’t plan’. Then the negative will stay into your system. That will destroy your plan to make this investment work in the future.

Show your fears to yourself by writing them in a diary

It is totally fine to show your own fears to yourself. It is ok because your neighbor has flaws too, just like you. You are not the only one. Keep that in mind.

By showing your fears in your diary, you can reread your fears later. But also you can make your plan by rereading your diary. Because you can face it now, and you wrote about it (which is really a big step), the better you can make a plan to overcome it.

Write down what you want to keep and what you want to change

Use a notebook you are going to use every day for your ideas, plans, and thoughts. In this notebook — which becomes your favorite notebook — you write down your fears, the solutions you think might work for you.

Start with small steps to overcome that particular fear. It is not going to work for you when you are writing down big goals for overcoming this fear. You can write the bigger goal(s), but also within the bigger goals, you must write smaller steps you think you really can achieve.

Make a plan for how you want to tackle these fears

Let says you want to learn mountain biking, but you are afraid of mountains, then you must overcome this fear of being in the mountains. Yes, it could be dangerous, yes you can fall off the cliff. But when you don’t make a plan, you won’t overcome this fear.

The first step is walking in the mountains. The next step is to stand still on a mountain and look to the wonderful view there. Even it is just a few (kilo)meters, you have achieved that. Proud that you are. The next step is going down. Next year you try to go mountain biking up the mountain. On the next trip you go down and the trip after that you can go up and down, and from other mountains on the same trip… Good job you did.

Earlier published on Medium

goals
Like

About the Creator

Agnes Laurens

Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives with her daughters. Writing is, like playing the violin, her passion. She writes about anything that crosses her mind. Follow her on Medium.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.